Journal articles on the topic 'Children Children Marriage customs and rites'

The given article researches the ritual of naming children among the peoples of the East, in particular the Uzbek people. It mainly draws attention to the causes and factors of giving names denoting the process of survival and development of the baby. Keywords: folklore, rites, traditions, customs, name, ethnography, baby

It is commonly believed that for the majority of the Soviet-raised Russian Jews, Judaism and its practices have not played a significant part in shaping their Jewish identity. For today’s Russian Jewish children, however, the personal development is mainly defined by their families, so the religious education and practical observance of Jewish rites and customs form the very basis for their identity. Studying the specifics of this mechanism in Russian Jewish children also reveals a correlation between the parents’ religious views and their determination to raise their offspring within the Jewish tradition.

AbstractThe family in Qatar plays a significant role in shaping its members’ lives, passing down the dominant culture with its history, traditions, values, customs, and social order to subsequent generations. Through the institution of marriage, individuals have been choosing their partners based on criteria passed down to them by their families. They have also been preserving and reproducing the culture, traditions, values, and customs invested in them by their own families by reinvesting them into their own children. By relying on a mixed method approach, the author investigates the role of the family and marriage institutions in the sustenance and stimulation of the reproduction of social stratification in Qatari society. This article is the first of its kind to address the phenomenon of reproduction of social stratification in an Arab state of the Persian Gulf.

MARRIAGE LIBERORUM PROCREANDORUM CAUSA IN ROMAN LAWSummaryOne of the chief purposes of the Roman institution of matrimony was procreation (liberorum procreandorum causa). There are numerous references in the sources to the institution of matrimony commending those citizens who marry in order to beget children. They are said to be living as Nature intended, since procreation secures the continuance of the family and tribe, especially as regards the passing down of the family name and estate to its heirs, and the guarantee that the religious rites (sacra familiaria and sacra gentilicia) will continue to be performed. Such observations were an expression of concern for the future of the Roman family. Marriage for the purpose of begetting progeny was regarded as sacrosanct, a religious duty: uxorem liberorum quaerundum causa ducere religiosum est. However, this applied only to children born of a iustum matrimonium – born in lawful wedlock to a couple who had entered an “approved marriage.” Roman citizens were encouraged and urged by the kings under the Monarchy, and even compelled by the censors, to marry and procreate. Augustus introduced legislation granting privileges to citizens who married, and special rights to families with a large number of children.

Abstract Siri marriage, known in various terms such as under hand marriage and undocumented marriage, is a marriage based on religious rules or customs and is not recorded in the Office of Religious Affairs for Muslims or the Office of Civil Registry for non-Muslims. Factors influencing the occurrence of siri marriage are; economy, social, culture, education, and religious beliefs in the legality of siri marriage. The legal consequences of not doing registration of marriages would harm spouses or those who are married even though the marriage is performed in accordance with religion and beliefs because it is considered invalid if it has not been recorded by the Office of Religious Affairs or the Office of Civil Registry. Furthermore, children who are born in an undocumented marriage are considered illegitimate and also only have a civil relationship with mother or mother’s family (Article 42 and 43 of the Act on Marriage).

This study focuses on the marital status Nyakak construction and Semanda in customary marriage Saibatin society. Construction of the meaning of the marital status through a gender perspective. Saibatin recognize three types of marital status; (1) marriage Nyakak, (2) the marriage Semanda, (3) and marriage Kings. The study used a qualitative approach to the constructivist paradigm and methods of phenomenology. Saibatin informant indigenous peoples who undergo marital status Semanda and Nyakak Sukabanjar Lampung village. The study states that indigenous peoples Saibatin Lampung, more familiar forms of marital status Nyakak and Semanda. Marital status used as one of the conditions determining customary title or Juluk Adok the bride and groom. Saibatin society, explicitly recognize patriarchal lines or following the path of man, so that after marriage the wife came home with the husband's family or customary terms Saibatin namely Nyakak. While the application of marriage Semanda, know matrilineal system, after marriage the husband follows the lines and kinship status wife. All related roles and responsibilities of the material as well as customs automatically switch family wife. Nyakak marriage and Semanda occur due to several factors such as economic status, parents have many children, all children consisting of all female or all male, child, first child and for not getting permission from parents. Marital status Kings today become an alternative for indigenous communities Saibatin. They decided this as a gesture of rights and the same responsibilities, so that they do not wish to be bound by or among the family of marital status. Marriage Kings is rated as a solution in the middle of gender dominiasi between family men and women.

The article studies features of verbalization of the concept family. Based on the extensive proverbial material, the system of value attitudes and stereotypical representations of family as a traditional social institution in the understanding of Russian and Ukrainian peoples is analyzed: the role of family and marriage in the culture of Russians and Ukrainians, stages of family formation including selection of a bride or a groom, distribution of family duties, and the role of parents, attitude towards step-children. As a result of the comparative analysis of Russian and Ukrainian paremias in which family relations are reflected, general and national-specific features related to mentality, value preferences, customs and traditions of close Slavic ethnic groups are revealed. It was concluded that despite the specific features of the material and spiritual culture of Russian and Ukrainian peoples, the understanding of family and its role in human life is similar. This coincidence proves that the main functions of family as a small social group based on marriage and consanguinity are education of children and preservation of national and universal values.

In many societies, marriage customs, who married her partner of different nationality for example a man citizen of Indonesia who married women foreign nationals or otherwise. It is caused due to the influence of globalization today. Of course, the marriage will having problems in the determination of citizenship status if they have children, especially if they settled in Indonesia. This research intended to find answers about the determination of the status of citizenship of children born of mixed marriages and the legal protection of children of mixed marriages that result. This research uses research methods through a conceptual approach to normative. The author uses primary law binding and also secondary legal material as a reference. The results of this research is the child of a mixed marriage deserve the status of dual citizenship is limited and is also entitled to preventive legal protection to guarantee the certainty of the law as a citizen of Indonesia. Dalam melangsungkan perkawinan, banyak masyarakat yang menikah dengan pasangannya yang berbeda kewarganegaraan misalnya seorang pria warga negara Indonesia yang menikah dengan wanita warga negara asing ataupun sebaliknya. Itu disebabkan karena pengaruh globalisasi saat ini. Tentu saja perkawinan tersebut akan menimbulkan masalah dalam penentuan status kewarganegaraan apabila pasangan tersebut memiliki anak, terutama apabila pasangan tersebut menetap di Indonesia. Penelitian ini dimaksudkan untuk menemukan jawaban tentang penentuan status kewarganegaraan anak yang lahir dari perkawinan campuran tersebut dan perlindungan hukum terhadap anak hasil perkawinan campuran terserbut. Penelitian ini menggunakan metode penelitian normatif melalui pendekatan konseptual. Penulis menggunakan bahan hukum primer yang bersifat mengikat dan juga bahan hukum sekunder sebagai referensi. Hasil penelitian ini adalah anak hasil perkawinan campuran berhak mendapatkan status kewarganegaraan ganda terbatas dan juga berhak mendapatkan perlindungan hukum preventif untuk menjamin kepastian hukumnya sebagai warga negara Indonesia.

The theme of childhood is one of the most important and interesting in the Russian and foreign ethnography, because for a long time researchers have not given attention to this problem. In the middle of the XX century scientists emphasize the description of children's cycle ceremonies, public education. Today questions of birth and care of a child, his education in ethno-cultural and another cultural environment are in the forefront of the study of the peoples. Our investigation focuses on the first year of life of the children of Armenian ethnos living in the city of Samara. In this paper two sub-ethnic groups (Armenians from the Republic of Armenia, Baku Armenians) of the Armenian community, that take different approaches to bringing up children are considered. This paper presents a consolidated material on the education, traditions and customs of the first year of life of the Armenian children. The article highlights the current issues of ethnography: pregnancy, childbirth and naming the baby, the postnatal period in the life of the child and the woman, nutrition, clothes, amulets, etc. Thus, the study of this issue has shown that there are certain differences in some aspects of childhood culture between the two Armenian groups in Samara, albeit minor. Baku Armenians are more liable to other cultures and other ethnic influence, which manifests itself in the rites of baptism, fairy tales, cola-cabling, and you select a name for the baby.

The Church in urban Africa is seeing an increase in marriages and homes experiencing disruption due to divorce. In a bid to forward discussion on marriage issues, the church has developed material on premarital education. However, much of this material has been adapted from the West. The contribution of an African system to education remains largely unexplored. The purpose of this study is to explore the Kipsigis community’s marriage preparation customs with a view to recommend ways they might inform a local church’s efforts to develop a more culturally relevant curriculum that includes points of integration. While reintroducing principles on marital instruction from a traditional African culture is an unlikely panacea to marriage and family dysfunction in a contemporary context, the study suggests that from an early age, within the context of God’s community, children, youth and adults might learn and value the place of family life. Data collected from in-depth, semi-structured interviews with seven participants in the Kericho District were analyzed using grounded theory procedures of open, axial and selective coding. The study uncovered a cycle of influencers and educators, with the core being family and widening to mentors and the community at large. The context of learning was imbedded in everyday life and moved from unstructured to focused learning as children entered adolescence. The article concludes by suggesting four transferable points of application for integrating principles from traditional culture’s practices: 1) intentional community, 2) intergeneration interaction, 3) integrated learning, and 4) carefully chosen mentors.

In the ruling man is created unable to live alone, the law is human created to live both and add to his descendants and successors. This leads to a bond of marriage between men and women, whose purpose is to create happy families and homes, harmoniously with the virtue of the one true deity. The marriage is held with the Customs and culture of each party, because basically the two human beings are backed by different customs and cultures. Indonesia's state with a forward minded society wants to make its life more improved, both in the field of work and home, not infrequently in the Indonesian economic system has established relationships with foreign nationals as Investors to improve the economic system in Indonesia. It is not uncommon for Indonesian citizen to have a relationship with foreigners to work, do business, and be friends and friendly, because humans are created to require each other, profitable, and adjoining. The relationship between WNI and WNI is not uncommon in marital relationship, namely mixed marriage between citizens and foreigners who occur on the basis of affection and love and want to live a life together. The marriage itself has been governed in the marriage act, i.e. the marriage has been recognized by the State, and against the marriage of the mix has also been recognized by the state because it has been demonstrated and regulated in the marriage act as well. Through life, in it for future survival, sought and acquired wealth that can be a common treasure or can also be a split. The common treasures are the treasures obtained throughout the marriage, without the agreement of marriage. The Covenant of marriage is made with the purpose of the separation of the property of each party, meaning there is no mixing of possessions in the family, and with this each party has each responsibility. In this journal is conducted empirical research because it is to be able to discuss issues raised as to how the role of notary in protecting the status of property rights on land resulting from mixed marriages and how the status of ownership On the ground when a divorce occurs, it must be research directly with the source of space. Implemented using the fact approach, and the collection of secondary data and primary data, so as to discuss the role of notary in protecting the property rights on land is to make a marriage agreement before or after the marriage In progress, by providing legal certainty against the separation of the property that has occurred and the status of ownership of the land when divorce occurs can remain the property of Indonesian citizens, or the status is given to children born of marriage The

This study explored the reasons for persistence of child marriage among Maasai girl-students in Tanzania. Three research questions guided this study, namely: Why does girl students’ marriage among the Maasai community of Tanzania continue to exist? What is the position of education stakeholders in protecting girls from child marriage? What strategies should be taken to address child marriage in the Maasai community? The study employed qualitative research approach where a case study design was used to explore the problem. It adopted interviews, focus group discussion and observations as research methods. Purposive and snowball sampling strategies were employed to get 39 participants who were involved in this study. Data were analysed qualitatively through thematic analysis strategies. The findings revealed that child marriage is still practiced in the Maasai community where the legible age for marriage of Maasai girls range from 6 to 15 years depending on the number of competing men and the economic status of the family of the boy or girl. Society members employ persuasion and pressure, transfer of students, pregnancy and corruption to enable marriage of Maasai girl students. In addition, the findings revealed that Maasai traditions and customs, fear of early pregnancies, corruption and irresponsibility of leaders, poverty and undervaluing of education are the factors contributing to persistence of child marriage among the Maasai girl students. The study recommends that the government in collaboration with other stakeholders should aggressively implement laws protecting children. A close monitoring of local leaders’ actions by top government leaders to help combating child marriage is also recommended. Moreover, joint efforts are needed to educate society members and girl-students on the negative impact of child marriage and the importance of girls’ education.

Marriage is an important personal and social affair. A qualitative research was conducted to study attitude of present generation towards marriage. Sample size was 51. There was the use of triangulation of data and methods. When the study was carried out first, the qualitative data were collected by in-depth interview and analyzed manually in the interpretive-thematic analysis framework. Data saturated after 16 persons of marriageable age, those between 18 and 35, were interviewed. Some were interviewed twice or thrice. After five years, survey questionnaire was given to 35 individuals of marriageable age who were between 19 and 24. It consisted of five open-ended questions. Both samples comprised of the men and women living in Kathmandu valley at the time of research. Non-random convenience sampling method was used. Some themes were identified on why people marry. For current generation, marriage is needed for support, company, fulfillment of sex motive and conscious or unconscious social pressure. It was found that present generation perceives that parent generation married to continue customs, to obey parental orders and to settle permanently meaning to start a new family by bearing children. Race continuity is the common theme seen on both generations. The intention, beliefs and feelings of participants about marriage have been inquired to know the conative, cognitive and affective components of attitude.

ABSTRAKPernikahan dini merupakan salah satu permasalahan yang terjadi di berbagai negara, berbagai upaya sudah dilakukan namun tidak memberi dampak yang berarti. Hal ini disebabkan oleh berbagai hal, seperti masalah ekonomi, adat istiadat, dan pendidikan atau nilai yang ditanamkan oleh orang tua. Pernikahan dini mempunyai dampak, seperti memiliki resiko terhadap kesehatan reproduksi, menambah jumlah fertilitas, dan lain sebagainya. Penulisan ini menggunakan metode studi pustaka dengan memperoleh berbagai sumber, seperti artikel jurnal ilmiah, hasil penelitian sebelumnya, serta perolehan statistik. Dari hasil temuan yang diperoleh bahwa orang tua yang melakukan pernikahan dini sebagian besar melakukan pola asuh permisif dan otoriter hal ini berdampak negatif kepada anak seperti berperilaku impulsif dan suka memberontak.Kata Kunci: Pernikahan dini, Pola asuh, resiko kesehatan, pendidikanABSTRACTEarly marriage is one of the problems that occur in various countries, various efforts have been made but did not have a significant impact. This is caused by various things, such as economic problems, customs, and education or values instilled by parents. Early marriage has an impact, such as having a risk to reproductive health, increasing the amount of fertility, and so forth. This writing uses the literature study method by obtaining various sources, such as scientific journal articles, the results of previous studies, and the acquisition of statistics. From the findings obtained that parents who engage in early marriage mostly do permissive and authoritarian parenting, this has a negative impact on children such as impulsive and rebellious behavior.Keywords: Early marriage, parenting, health risks, education

ABSTRAKPernikahan dini merupakan salah satu permasalahan yang terjadi di berbagai negara, berbagai upaya sudah dilakukan namun tidak memberi dampak yang berarti. Hal ini disebabkan oleh berbagai hal, seperti masalah ekonomi, adat istiadat, dan pendidikan atau nilai yang ditanamkan oleh orang tua. Pernikahan dini mempunyai dampak, seperti memiliki resiko terhadap kesehatan reproduksi, menambah jumlah fertilitas, dan lain sebagainya. Penulisan ini menggunakan metode studi pustaka dengan memperoleh berbagai sumber, seperti artikel jurnal ilmiah, hasil penelitian sebelumnya, serta perolehan statistik. Dari hasil temuan yang diperoleh bahwa orang tua yang melakukan pernikahan dini sebagian besar melakukan pola asuh permisif dan otoriter hal ini berdampak negatif kepada anak seperti berperilaku impulsif dan suka memberontak.Kata Kunci: Pernikahan dini, Pola asuh, resiko kesehatan, pendidikanABSTRACTEarly marriage is one of the problems that occur in various countries, various efforts have been made but did not have a significant impact. This is caused by various things, such as economic problems, customs, and education or values instilled by parents. Early marriage has an impact, such as having a risk to reproductive health, increasing the amount of fertility, and so forth. This writing uses the literature study method by obtaining various sources, such as scientific journal articles, the results of previous studies, and the acquisition of statistics. From the findings obtained that parents who engage in early marriage mostly do permissive and authoritarian parenting, this has a negative impact on children such as impulsive and rebellious behavior.Keywords: Early marriage, parenting, health risks, education

Divorce is the end of a marriage. Divorce is a break in the relationship between husband and wife. Every married couple must have their ways to prevent a divorce from happening. Divorce is always based on quarrels between husband and wife. This is the reason that a dispute between husband and wife occurs because one of the parties wants a divorce, therefore the family relationship is not harmonious. Offspring who are not present in the household is very important, apart from being the successor of the heir, children are also the goal of a harmonious household, especially if certain tribes or customs require an offspring to be the successor of the family name. In this case, the applicant and the defendant both did not want to adopt a child, so they decided to divorce at Religious Court Medan

Section 211(3) of the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa, 1996 provides that no recognition of customary norms may be upheld if such norms are in conflict with either the constitution or any other law that deals specifically with customary law: “The courts must apply customary law when that law is applicable, subject to the Constitution and any legislation that specifically deals with customary law.” The current Recognition of Customary Marriages Act 120 of 1998 deals explicitly with the recognition of customary marriages which are concluded in accordance with customary law (s 1). Customary law is defined as the “customs and usages traditionally observed among the indigenous African peoples of South Africa and which form part of the culture of those peoples”. It follows from a further reading of section 1 that a customary marriage is reserved for those indigenous African peoples who observe such customs and usages. It is provided in section 10(4) that “[d]espite subsection (1), no spouse of a marriage entered into under the Marriage Act, 1961, is, during the subsistence of such marriage, competent to enter into any other marriage”. This must be read with the definitions contained in section 1: “‘customary law’ means the customs and usages traditionally observed among the indigenous African peoples of South Africa and which form part of the culture of those peoples; ‘customary marriage’ means a marriage concluded in accordance with customary law”. Without the requisite legal competency, no legal subject can enter into any relationship to which the law may attach any consequences. Nobody can enter into a customary marriage if any of the presumed future spouses is already in a civil marriage according to the Marriage Act 25 of 1961, not even if the two parties are married to each other. According to the custom of various indigenous nations, if a man enters into a valid customary marriage with a woman who had never been married before but who is the mother of children born out of wedlock (spurii), the metaphor applies that he “who takes the cow also acquires the calf”. He will as part and parcel of the lobola ceremony be seen as the adopting stepfather of his wife’s children, with all the accompanying consequences. He will automatically be responsible for the future maintenance of those children as his adoptive children and they will acquire all rights and privileges that are bestowed on a child, including the right to inheritance and the right to his family name. As a consequence of this new relationship, all legal ties with the biological father of the adopted child are severed and the biological father will no longer be responsible for the maintenance of his offspring. In January 2019 an erstwhile law professor from UNISA who still retained his German citizenship, was gravely ill and cared for on life-support at a hospital in the Pretoria district. While in hospital, he tied the marriage knot with Miss Vilakazi, a Zulu woman with whom he had been in a relationship for the past five years. Miss Vilakazi was a spinster, but she had a Zulu daughter who was born out of wedlock more than eight years previously out of a relationship with an erstwhile Zulu lover. This child had been in the care of her maternal grandmother in Natal and, according to Zulu customary norms, was considered part of the house of her maternal grandfather, Vilakazi. She consequently carried the name Vilakazi as her registered surname on her official birth certificate. The marriage, which was conducted on 29 January 2019 in the hospital in Pretoria, was concluded with adherence to all the requirements of Act 25 of 1961. The civil marriage was duly registered as such. The late professor passed away in the hospital barely three weeks later on 19 February 2019. Less than 24 hours before the demise of the professor a purported customary marriage was concluded, apparently on behalf of the professor with the recently married Mrs Schulze by proxy by a friend of his in the Newcastle district in Natal after having paid R60 000 as ilobolo. The ceremony was concluded with the ceremonial slaughtering of the prescribed goat. However, during this ceremony the groom was not present but on life support in a Pretoria hospital and not necessarily compos mentis – the court was told that he was represented by a friend. Zulu customary law, however, does not recognise a marriage concluded by proxy with a substitude bridegroom as was known in Roman-Dutch law as “a wedding with the glove”. Neither the Marriage Act nor the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act, however, recognises a second marriage after the conclusion of a civil marriage by any of the purported newly weds – even if both “spouses” had been present in person. The mother of the late Professor Schulze, after his demise in South Africa, amended her last will in Germany and appointed her lifelong partner as sole beneficiary of her significant estate. She passed away in Germany in October 2019. In November 2019 the recently married Mrs Schulze, on behalf of her minor daughter, successfully approached the high court in Pietermaritzburg, where Zaca AJ issued an order compelling the South African department of home affairs to issue the daughter with a new birth certificate that reflects the late Professor Schulze as her father. Notwithstanding the unease of the officials at home affairs with this court order, the minister of home affairs, Mr Motsoaledi, personally intervened in August 2020 and the new birth certificate was issued as requested. Relying on this newly issued birth certificate, the applicant claims an amount of not less than R8 million in Germany from the estate of the late mother of Professor Schulze. For this purpose, the applicant relies on a principle in German law, the Pflichtteilsanspruch, according to which any descendant of the deceased has a right to a prescribed portion, a so-called legitimate portion of the estate, if not mentioned or sufficiently bestowed in the last will. This raises a number of seriously flawed legal arguments that are analysed in this article. It is submitted that the perceived lobola marriage ceremony conducted on behalf of the late professor on 18 February 2019 in Newcastle, less than 24 hours before his demise, is void because of the explicit constitutional provision and the relevant section 10(4) of the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act 120 of 1998, which excludes any competency to enter into a customary marriage if any of the parties involved is already married. At the date of the perceived lobola ceremony, Mrs Schulze had already been civilly married to Professor Schulze for more than three weeks and thus both spouses lacked the necessary competency to enter into a valid customary marriage. Whether a valid customary marriage could have been concluded at all with a man who did not live according to the customs and usages of the Zulu, is also highly questionable. Because the perceived lobola marriage is a nullity, no legal consequences can flow from this nullity and the so-called customary adoption of the daughter (“the calf with the cow”) is a nullity too. At no stage was any of the requirements for a valid adoption as governed by the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 adhered to. The minister of home affairs should have immediately given notice of appeal after the unconvincing judgment of Zaca AJ was handed down in January 2020. As the responsible minister, he should guard the upholding of the constitution and the applicable legal provisions unambiguously contained in the relevant section 10(4) of Act 120 of 1998. It is a pity that the so-called adherence to the principles of the “rule of law” is not even paid lip service in this case. Bennett, as a renowned expert on customary law, correctly pointed out that the legal orders are not unconnected. It may never be assumed that the people concerned are unaware of how to manipulate the resources offered them by legal pluralism (A Sourcebook of African Customary Law for Southern Africa (1991) 50).

Pakistan is a country facing relatively high rates of population growth due to high fertility and decline in mortality rates. This is not only depleting scarce resources but also contributing significantly to environmental degradation. It is, therefore, desirable to know; why fertility rates in Pakistan remain high despite the nationwide family planning coverage since 1965? The objective of this study, therefore, is to establish trends and patterns of fertility among different ethnic groups (on the basis of languages spoken) in Pakistan. The study also explores the major reasons for different fertility behaviour. This is because; there are variety of languages spoken throughout the country having distinct norms, traditions and other customs which directly or indirectly influence fertility and fertility related decisions. The study found that the Balochi or Brohi speaking women had the most children, Sindhi and Pushto speaking women are the women with the second highest fertility levels, Punjabis with the lowest and Urdu speaking almost matching them. The study attributes the high fertility levels among some ethnic groups to low level of education, lower age at first marriage, higher demand for children and greater value placed on number of children. It is also found that fertility levels are high among those ethnic groups who have little knowledge and less use of contraceptives. On the basis of findings, study provides guideline to policy-makers, planners and family planning personnel’s for policy formation to facilitate reduction of fertility in particular context and to target specific sub-groups of population.

This article is a review of the academic works of American sociologist James Bossard. During his life he wrote a vast number of articles and books on family, marriage, childhood and parenting, using a variety of methods for collecting and analyzing information. Despite his active academic and social life, James Bossard is very little known in the Russian-speaking environment. James Bossard creates his own set of approaches towards studying family, which should cover all significant aspects of the latter. Said set is based on approaches that can be divided into three main categories, which will be discussed in the review: family rituals, family heterogeneity and family as a field for change. Meanwhile he also described other issues: happiness and unhappiness in the family, the differences between large and small families, the role of children in the family, rites of passage, the impact of war on families. James Bossard is also worthy of interest as a productive researcher with unconventional approaches to working with material, as well as a peculiar sign of the time. The main goal of the author of this review is to draw attention to this sociologist’s legacy, since many of his works are also relevant in modern Russia.

This service aims at this service is Building a pattern of Democratic Care and Building the values of Religion. It should be understood that the family is two or more individuals who live in one household because of the relationship of blood, marriage and interacting with one another, having their respective roles by creating and maintaining a culture. The environment that is first encountered by children is the family environment. In the family of course there are religious values born from generation to generation and carried by the family. Whereas religious experience is an element of feeling in religious consciousness, namely the feeling that leads to beliefs generated by actions or amaliyah. Suka Julu Village Hamlet III Jumpa is one of the villages located in Karo land with diverse religious communities although it is dominated by Karo tribes in the area around Berastagi city. In customs, girls are not allowed to talk with their father. In addition, there is still a lack of planting of religious values. There are still those who do not have strong religious beliefs, so that on Christmas day, there are still Muslims who follow Christian activities and vice versa. This is certainly confusing for children. So that it will give birth to children who lack confidence. Personality dynamics actively influence human activities. Spiritual energy functions to regulate spiritual activities such as thinking, remembering, observing and so on. The instinct function regulates primary needs: eating, drinking and sexual. The ego has the function of adjusting impulse adjustment with objective reality. While Super Ego functions as a giver of inner rewards (satisfied, happy, successful) and punishment (guilt, sin, regret). The reward is played by the ideal ego, and inner punishment is carried out by the conscience. This activity was carried out to foster democratic upbringing and religious values in families in various religious environments in a tribe.

Indonesia has a wide variety of ethnic groups, customs and cultures. One of the interesting cultures is the culture of Khitanan (circumcision) of Pontianak Malay society, West Kalimantan. This article will describe Khitanan culture in Pontianak Malay society to describe the diversity of national culture. Data obtained through interviews and observations in Pontianak. Shows that Khitanan is practiced for baby girls and boys. Khitanan or circumcision is the Islamic Shari'a which becomes sunnah of Prophet Mohammed. Become a requirement for one's perfection in worshiping Allah SWT. For a baby girl it is usually done when the baby is new baby born or at 40 days old by a midwife. For boys they will be circumcised when the age of 8 to 12 years and it is carried out by a mantri (traditional doctor) or doctor. Before boys are circumcised, there are several processions that must be carried out first. Circumcised children also face taboos that should not be violated. After the boy was circumcised, besanji was carried out and the recitation of selamat prayer had been given fluency in carrying out the Shari'a required by religion. The host invites neighbors and families. The food provided is the same at the marriage reception; the difference is when a marriage reception arrange on the tables but in Khitanan event, the food will be arranged on the carpets. Besanji ended the traditional procession of Khitanan culture in Pontianak. This description shows that Pontianak Malay tribe considered Khitanan is important. The procession and series also show differences with Khitanan culture in other regions.

The article Becoming what we pray: Three images, three voices by professor Michael Plekon presents three persons who were very important for Orthodox culture, spirituality and thought — saint Seraphim of Sarov, Mother Maria Skobtsova and Paul Evdokimov. Showing the most substantial facts from their life and activity the author exhibits the real transformation, metamorphosis of their personalities, hearts and consciousnesses under the action of practice of the Jesus' Prayer or the prayer of the heart. The main aim of the article is — one can suppose — to underline the role of the Jesus' Prayer in changing people who systematically practicing it in their life, and in giving them the power to go over the stereotypes, myths and customs, even religious. The heart of the matter is emphasizing — in positive meaning — the real close union between the prayer andthe life and the relationship with neighbour. Professor Plekon stresses that “the personaland interior aspects of this prayer are never separated from liturgical prayer and ourlives”. Christians believe in salvation and resurrection of Jesus Christ and they practice the Jesus Prayer, but this prayer formula is not only devoid of life meaning formula but it is the method of changing the whole human mentality, in each everyday circumstances concerning family, marriage, work, life in monastic community, doing shopping, reading books, watching TV programs, raising children, writing the scientific articles, being in different social and cultural situations, generally — it changes all, the vision of life and the universe.

The birth of the Marriage Law No. 1 of 1974, especially the breakup of marriage has led to the dualism of Islamic law in Indonesia. Regarding Divorce on the one hand, Muslims are taught in Islamic fiqh that Divorce is the right of a husband, where if a wife is mentally ill even without a witness, then the divorce falls, while the marriage law in Indonesia, including the Islamic ummah, is specifically regulated in the Law Compilation Islam, determines that divorce can only be done before a religious court after going through a trial. Moreover, two Islamic organizations in Indonesia, namely Muhammadyah and Nahdlatul Ulama have different opinions. On the one hand, NU in the 28th Congress in Yogyakarta in 1989 gave a legal decision that Divorce was the husband's prerogative which could be dropped anytime and anywhere even without reason. If the husband has dropped divorce outside the Religious Court, then the divorce is valid. While the Majlis Tarjih Muhammadiyah in his fatwa that was tried on Friday, 8 Jumadal Ula 1428 H / 25 May 2007 M gave a ruling that divorce must be carried out through a court examination process, divorce carried out outside the court was declared invalid. The views of NU and Muhammadiyah above reflect a contradiction. Therefore the Indonesian Ulema Council based on the MUI IV 2012 Fatwa gave a fatwa as a middle way to resolve these differences with its fatwa that divorce outside the legal court is valid provided there is a syar'i reason that the truth can be proven in court. Iddah Divorce is calculated since husband drops divorce and for the benefit of benefit and guarantees legal certainty, divorce outside the court must be reported (ikhbar) to the religious court. With the Normative Juridical research method, the author tries to discuss the problem, namely trying to find the problems that arise as a result of these rules and find a way out how the MUI fatwa can be applied. From the results of the study, the authors conclude that the unrecognized Divorce legality outside the court causes legal chaos due to uncertain laws for the Islamic ummah, namely in terms of when the fall of divorce and the end of the iddah period, concerning triple divorce, concerning the validity of the status of children born after the fall Divorce and concerning the validity of the second marriage and the status of the child that was born which could damage the religion and descent of the Islamic ummah in Indonesia. If Marriage is legal according to the religion, then Divorce should also be valid if carried out according to the religious law. Factors that cause divorce outside the court include economic factors, juridical factors, sociological factors and customs factors, regarding the distribution of marital assets due to divorce outside the court, in general, the community resolves issues regarding marital property in a family manner by including local ulama and traditional leaders.

The Rwandan refugee camps in Tanzania witnessed the marriages of very young adolescents: girls as young as 13–14 married boys of 14–15 years, boys they often did not even know. These marriages usually did not last very long; after a few months many girls were forced to leave—sent away by their husband. People of both sexes and all ages, when asked about the problems in the camp, would always mention these child marriages as one of the biggest problems. They were worried not only about the loss of respect for Rwandan culture and traditional values but also about the future of the marriages and what would become of the children. This article is not based on extensive research into child marriages, but the author was able to interview a number of young people who had got married in the camps, and to collect information and the opinions of other people on these and other cases. Rather than describing marriage customs and wedding ceremonies in Rwanda, and comparing them with what took place in the refugee camps, the article aims to show the impact of (civil) war, the consequent poverty and the destruction of social structures on a community, in order to show how in these circumstances behaviour can change radically. Refugees have to build up a new life in a camp, and the new ‘society’ is likely to be different from the one they came from, with different rules and changed values. Among various examples of deviant behaviour child marriages were the most remarkable.

Live-in relationship, that is, living together as couple without being married to each other in a legally accepted way, is considered a taboo in India. But recently, such relationships are being increasingly common due to a variety of reasons. In absence of any specific legislation, rules, or customs on the subject, the Supreme Court has issued certain guidelines in its judgment for regulating such relationships. This article tries to figure out the current legal positions governing the live-in relationships in India after making a systemic assessment of these judgments. Live-in relationship between two consenting adults is not considered illegal and if the couple present themselves to the society as husband and wife and live together for a significant period of time, the relationship is considered to be a relationship “in the nature of marriage” under the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act, 2005. Consequently, the female partner is entitled to claim alimony under its provisions. Children born out of such relationships are considered legitimate and entitled to get share in the self-acquired property of their parents, though they are not entitled for a coparcenary share in the Hindu undivided family property. Live-in relationships may enable the couple to know each other better, but such no-strings-attached relationship has its disadvantages as well. The couple faces multiple social and logistics problems in day-to-day living. From mental health point of view, it is considered better to be engaged in a good-quality relationship than living alone and having no relation at all.

This study aims to reveal the shifting forms of mother's brother function in the guardianship Batu Badinding community, the cause of the shift in the function of mother's brother biological in the customar practices of the Minangkabau people in the guardianship Batu Badinding community, the impact of the shift in the function of the mother's brother in the implementation of the Minangkabau Customs in guardianship Batu Badinding. This is a case study research. The informant selection technique uses a method (purposive sampling). the results showed that there had been a shift in the function of mother's brother biological in guardianship Batu Badinding community (1) The forms of shifting functions of mother's brother were: (a) in the economic field, (b) in the field of education, (c) in the religious field, and ( d) in the field of Custom (e) in the field of marriage. (2) The causes of the shifting of mother's brother biological functions are: (a) lifestyle in overseas, (b) mother's brother prioritizes children and wives, (c) lack of indigenous knowledge of mother's brother (d) low economic level of mother's brother , (e) mother's brother morality low, (f) the influence of values in Islam. (3) The impact of the shift in the function of the mother's brother biological, namely: (a) the mother's brother figure is less respected by the niece, (b) the authority of mother's brother begins to fade in the middle of the community (c) the fading of kinship and social relations between mother's brother and niece, (d) changes in structure and responsibility family answer.

The article is devoted to the analysis of the remnants of the cult of the hare among the Bashkirs, which was one of the revered animals in their ancient religious and mystical views. In oral stories, the Bashkir hare is endowed with human qualities — it has feelings, the gift of thinking and speech. In the fairy tale and children's play folklore, traces of the belief of the ancestors of the Bashkirs in the mutual transformation of a person and a hare into each other appear. In the tribal ethnonymy of the Bashkirs, motives have been preserved about the origin of certain groups of people from a hare, totem and totemic ancestor. In oral poetry, customs and rituals of the Bashkir hare acts as a totemic ancestor, patron saint of family and marriage relations, women in labor and children. In the folk calendar and signs of the Bashkir, the hare symbolizes fertility and fertility. In the mythological tradition, the Bashkir hare acts as a benefactor of heroes — it creates favorable conditions for them, brings wealth, and protects their lives. In religious and magical practice, the Bashkir hare appears as a healer of people. The protective functions of a hare are revealed in attributing protective properties to images of a hare and in the practice of sewing hare ears and tails on children's hats, as amulets against evil spirits and the evil eye. In the oral works of the Bashkirs there are remnants of ancient cosmogonic myths about the participation of a hare — a totemic ancestor in the creation of the earth and keeping it in the Universe.

The authors identify characteristic features of how certain children’s rights are exercised under the family law of Russia and the legislation of the Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS). The norms of the CIS family law on children’s rights are specific; they adhere to national cultural traditions and customs that have an impact on the implementation and protection of children’s personal non-property rights. The authors point out that a child, under certain circumstances, can be a carrier not only of the rights and obligations provided for by the family codes of independent States, but also by family law of the CIS. The article points out to the need to define the law applicable to regulating relations where the participants have different or dual citizenship, or legal facts occurred on the territory of one State that is a member of the CIS. The authors describe a defect in Russian legislation regulating the status of a child with dual citizenship. The problem of legislative consolidation of the concept of proper upbringing of a child is addressed, as are ways that children may undertake self-protection of their rights granted in CIS member States. One peculiarity of the family codes of CIS member States is the norms regulating a child’s participation in personal non-proprietary and proprietary relations. Special attention is paid to alimony payments. Moreover, the authors consider the laws that regulate dissolution of a marriage, as well as how such dissolution affects the legal status of the child. The article focuses on deprivation of parental rights as a radical method of breaking the bond between a child and parents, distinguishing the deprivation of parental rights from their restriction. The authors consider adoption procedures, as well as the legal status of the adopted and adoptive parents. Each problem is considered by using the comparative legal research method.

Famous South Korean writer Park Kyongni’s novel «Daughters of Pharmacist Kim» covers the period from the end of the 19th century to the beginning of the 20th century which was tragic for Korean people and their social norms because of the Japanese occupation. It depicts particularly the religious beliefs of Korean people, the relationships in the society and the family, the role of the woman, and the daily life of people of different social groups (aristocrats, the wealthy, servants). The objective of this article is to critically analyze the translation of the novel that touches upon many phenomena exotic for most Russian readers, such as the national identity of Korean culture or the material and spiritual life of Korean society. The comparison of the Korean and the Russian texts shows that the translation of some ethnographic realia does not quite match the original. For example, some words related to the following phenomena are translated incorrectly: Korean traditional underfloor heating (ondol), superstitions, Koreans’ religious beliefs and their perception of ancestors’ spirits, supernatural forces, mourning ceremonies, and attire worn to a funeral. In addition to believing in ancestors’ spirits, Koreans also believed in prophecies. For example, children of someone who died of arsenic poisoning were believed to be destined to leave no male offspring. This prophecy comes true in the novel: Pharmacist Kim’s first son dies in childhood and six daughters are born afterwards. Koreans paid special attention to shamans and believed in their supernatural essence. To this day, Koreans’ religious beliefs dating back to ancient times and various folk beliefs peacefully coexist with other world religions. In modern South Korea, people still observe customs and traditions related to funeral rites and wakes, they fear and revere the spirits of the dead, and perform «feeding ancestors’ spirits» ceremonies twice a year on certain days chosen according to the lunar calendar. In addition to the shortcomings of the Russian translation described above, some dialectal items of the Southern province Kyungsan-do are translated incorrectly, and so are occasionally rendered the rules of the traditional verbal etiquette. It may be considered as a gross error because the latter are anchored in the very essence of Korean language and make up an important part of Korean mentality. Conclusion. So, this analysis of conveying background information through Korean realia in the novel «Daughters of Pharmacist Kim» confirms the theorists’ conclusion that the translator must know background cultural information of the source text. Errors and flaws found in the translation of some ethnographic realia show that those errors and flaws are not likely to affect significantly the novel’s content or its artistic value. At the same time, the fictional quality of the novel is affected by the lack of translator’s knowledge of its dialectal peculiarities and some facts of non-material culture related to customs, elements of cult and public relations among Koreans. All of the above leads to the incorrect perception of some cultural realia of Korea described in the novel of Korean classic writer Park Kyongni.

Indonesia is one country that has the largest population in the world. Religious diversity and customs inherent in community life, but does not mean it makes the pluralistic Indonesian society divided and fragmented. Precisely these differences condition they respect and value between one another. Despite the fact that the majority of Indonesian people are Muslims, but the application of the laws of force in it are not necessarily subject to the laws of Islam alone. In the matter of implementation of the division of the estate, Indonesia's Muslim population is very varied, either by using the Islamic inheritance law as well as the customary inheritance law. Islamic inheritance executed by referring to the rules contained in the Compilation of Islamic Law which is certainly a source of law of the KHI major source of al-Quran and al-Hadith that there must be collaboration mujtahids interpretation of a well-formulated for the benefit of Indonesian Muslims. While the implementation of the division of estate, by using the customary inheritance law can be seen in the pattern of distribution of inheritance; 1. mayor at men (indigenous Lampung), the eldest son has full authority to the inheritance of parents, the responsibility of parents turn when their parents died or switched while the oldest boy has been married, children, women do not have rights to inheritance by reason of girls have given a Sergeant at the time of marriage; 2. mayoral women (indigenous Semendo South Sumatra), where the full authority over the estate such as houses, fields, and gardens turn to the oldest daughter "waistband", it manages the estate and can be utilized by all the heirs, apart from such property can be divided according to Islamic inheritance law; 3. The individual (custom Seberang Kota Jambi), inheritance becomes full rights of each of the heirs, both male, and female. The division of the estate according to the agreement with the equal distribution principle or superiority of heirs

: Indonesia is one country that has the largest population in the world. Religious diversity and customs inherent in community life, but does not mean it makes the pluralistic Indonesian society divided and fragmented. Precisely these differences condition they respect and value between one another. Despite the fact that the majority of Indonesian people are Muslims, but the application of the laws of force in it are not necessarily subject to the laws of Islam alone. In the matter of implementation of the division of the estate, Indonesia's Muslim population is very varied, either by using the Islamic inheritance law as well as the customary inheritance law. Islamic inheritance executed by referring to the rules contained in the Compilation of Islamic Law which is certainly a source of law of the KHI major source of al-Quran and al-Hadith that there must be collaboration mujtahids interpretation of a well-formulated for the benefit of Indonesian Muslims. While the implementation of the division of estate, by using the customary inheritance law can be seen in the pattern of distribution of inheritance; 1. mayor at men (indigenous Lampung), the eldest son has full authority to the inheritance of parents, the responsibility of parents turn when their parents died or switched while the oldest boy has been married, children, women do not have rights to inheritance by reason of girls have given a Sergeant at the time of marriage; 2. mayoral women (indigenous Semendo South Sumatra), where the full authority over the estate such as houses, fields, and gardens turn to the oldest daughter "waistband", it manages the estate and can be utilized by all the heirs, apart from such property can be divided according to Islamic inheritance law; 3. The individual (custom Seberang Kota Jambi), inheritance becomes full rights of each of the heirs, both male, and female. The division of the estate according to the agreement with the equal distribution principle or superiority of heirs.

Purpose of the study: Since the new generation is the main entity of material and social benefits’ renewal process of any state, the article aims to identify the students’ attitude to the demographic situation in Russia. It is the younger generation of different age groups that is the main labor unit of the state population. Relevant is the fact that the issues of demography are a global challenge of self-organizing society. The purpose of the article is to identify the students’ attitude to the demographic situation in Russia, as well as to consider various models of reproductive behavior. Methodology: The leading methods for the study of this problem is the survey method, which allows to make a qualitative analysis of the characteristics of the students’ attitude to the demographic situation in Russia and to establish the subjective position of students regarding demographic development. Results: The article reveals that the following administrative and legal measures contribute to the improvement of the demographic situation in the country (legislative acts regulating the marriage age, divorce, attitude to abortion and contraception, the status of mother and children in the divorce, working women’s labor regime); economic measures (paid leave, various benefits at child’s birth, preferential credit conditions if necessary, tax and housing benefits); educational measures (formation of public opinion, the core and standards of demographic behavior, determination of attitude to religious norms, traditions and customs, family planning policy, sexual education of youth). The authors established a high level of awareness of students about the demographic situation in the country; the presence of anxiety about this situation. Applications of this study: The data obtained in the work can be used in sociology, social psychology, political science, as well as for further theoretical development of this issue. Novelty/Originality of this study: The study revealed a high level of awareness of young people about the demographic situation in the country, certain anxiety about this situation. However, young people are not in a hurry to participate in the solution of demographic problems, referring mainly to the difficulties of material nature. This indicates the need for more careful consideration of measures of state support for young families, taking into account the research of their opinion on this matter.

В статье показано, что борьба курэш у башкир, как в прошлом, так и настоящем бытует в двух основных вариантах. Первый представляет собой единоборство на поясах, привычное на Сабантуях и других общественных праздниках, проводимое в летнее время года. Второй вариант — борьба всадников в зимние месяцы, где ставится задача под всеобщее одобрение собравшихся стащить противника с седла на землю. Целью статьи является анализ материалов, свидетельствующих об участии женщин в представленных видах спортивных состязаний. Задачами исследования стало сопоставление сведений, содержащихся в фольклорных источниках, полевых материалах, научных работах; анализ аналогичных явлений в культурах других народов; определение причин сохраняемости архаичных традиций в современных условиях. Установлено, что в традиционном башкирском обществе, когда женщины нередко занимались охотой в табунным скотоводством, участвовали в военном деле, когда благополучие социума обеспечивалось хорошей физической подготовкой и мобильностью всех ее членов, выработались обычаи участия детей обоих полов в разнообразных спортивных забавах, в числе которых была борьба на поясах и стаскивание всадника с седла. По историческим преданиям и сказкам нередко девушки не уступали в этих видах спорта мужчинам. По фольклорным материалам, у башкир устраивалось единоборство между женихом и невестой или между женихами как условие заключения брачного союза. По этнографическим сведениям, борьба была включена в башкирский свадебный ритуал, проводилась между женщинами — представителями родов невесты и жениха. Современные исследования показали, что в башкирском селении Арасланова Щучанского района Курганской области до сих пор на Сабантуе практикуется борьба между женщинами. Причина сохранения этого обычая заключается в относительной природно-географической изолированности башкирских зауральских селений, удаленности от центров урбанизации, что ослабило влияние ислама и государственной идеологии. Женская борьба курэш в указанном селении проводится по старым правилам, то есть без деления на весовые и возрастные группы, прямо на траве вблизи зрителей, в повседневной или национальной одежде. The article shows that the kuresh wrestling exists in two main variants among Bashkirs, both in the past and in the present. The first is a wrestling on belts, the usual drinking bouts and other public celebrations, held in the summer. The second option is the fight of riders in the winter months, where the task is to pull the enemy from the saddle to the ground under the general approval of the audience. The purpose of the article is to analyze the materials showing the participation of women in these types of wrestling. The study showed that in the traditional Bashkir society, women often engaged in hunting, herd cattle breeding, and participated in military affairs. In conditions when the well-being of society ensured by good physical fitness and mobility of all its members, customs were developed for children of both sexes to participate in various sports, including belt wrestling and pulling the rider from the saddle. According to historical legends and fairy tales, girls were often not inferior to men in these sports. The article provides examples of martial arts during wedding rituals between women-representatives of the bride and groom's families. The wrestling matches between the bride and groom or between the grooms are described as a condition for entering into a marriage union. It shown, that in the Bashkir village of Araslanov in the Shchuchansky district of the Kurgan region, a fight between women is still practiced during Kargatuy. The reason for the preservation of the custom is the natural and geographical isolation of the Bashkir Trans-Ural villages, remoteness from the centers of urbanization, which weakened the influence of Islam and state ideology. Women's wrestling kuresh in the specified village carried out according to the old rules, that is, without division into weight and age groups, directly on the grass near the audience, in everyday or national clothes.

Introduction Such symptoms as hard, complex, bodily or mental feelings, that turn our everyday life into a hell, at first, lead us to a doctor, and then - to a psychotherapist. A sick man is keen to get rid of a symptom. A doctor prescribes medication, that is ought to eliminate a symptom. A psychotherapist searches for a reason of the problem that needs to be removed. There is such an idea that a neurotic symptom, in particular, an anxiety - is a pathological (spare or extra) response of a body. It is generally believed that such anxiety doesn’t have some real, objective reasons and that it is the result of a nervous system disorder, or some disruption of a cognitive sphere etc. Meanwhile, it is known that in the majority of cases, medical examinations of anxious people show that they don’t have any organic damages, including nervous system. It often happens that patients even wish doctors have found at least any pathology and have begun its treatment. And yet - there is no pathology. All examinations indicate a high level of functionality of a body and great performance of the brain's work. Doctors throw their hands up, as they can't cure healthy people. One of my clients told me her story of such medical examinations (which I’ll tell you with her permission). She said that it was more than 10 years ago. So, when she told her doctor all of her symptoms - he seemed very interested in it. He placed a helmet with electrodes on her head and wore some special glasses, when, according to her words, he created some kind of stressful situation for her brain, as she was seeing some flashings of bright pictures in her eyes. She said that he had been bothered with her for quite a long time, and at the end of it he had told her that her brain had been performing the best results in all respects. He noted that he’d rarely got patients with such great health indicators. My client asked the doctor how rare that was. And he answered: “one client in two or three months.” At that moment my client didn’t know whether to be relieved, flattered or sad. But since then, when someone told her that anxiety was a certain sign of mental problems, or problems with the nervous system, or with a body in general, she answered that people who had anxiety usually had already got all the required medical examinations sufficiently, and gave them the advice to go through medical screening by themselves before saying something like that. Therefore, we see a paradoxical situation, when some experts point to a neurotic anxiety as if it is a kind of pathology, in other words - some result of a nervous system disorder. Other specialists in the same situation talk about cognitive impairments. And some, after all the examinations, are ready to send such patients into space Main text I don’t agree with the statement that any neurotic anxiety that happens is excessive and unfounded. It often happens that there is objective, specific and real causes for appearance of anxiety conditions. And these causes require solutions. And it’s not about some organic damages of the brain or nervous system. The precondition that may give a rise to anxiety disorder is the development of such a life story that at some stage becomes too toxic - when, on the one hand, a person interacts with the outside world in a way that destroys his or her personality, and, on the other hand, this person uses repression and accepts such situation as common and normal. Repression - is an essential condition for the development of a neurotic symptom. Sigmund Freud was the first who pointed this out. Repression is such a defense mechanism that helps people separate themselves from some unpleasant feelings of discomfort (pain) while having (external or internal) irritations. It is the situation when, despite the presence of irritations and painful feelings, a person, however, doesn't feel any of it and is not aware of them in his or her conscious mind. Repression creates the situation of so-called emotional anesthesia. As a result, a displacement takes place, so a body starts to signal about the existing toxic life situation via a symptom. Anxiety disorder is usually an appropriate response (symptom) of a healthy body to an unhealthy life situation, which is seen by a person as normal. And it’s common when such a person is surrounded by others (close people), who tend to benefit from such situation, and so they actively maintain this state of affairs, whether it is conscious for them or not. At the beginning of a psychotherapy almost all clients insist that everything is good in their lives, even great, as it is like in everyone else’s life. They say that they have only one problem, which is that goddamn symptom. So they focus all of their attention on that symptom. They are not interested in all the other aspects of their life, and they show their irritation when it comes to talking about it. People want to get rid of it, whatever it takes, but they often tend to keep their lives the way that it was. In such cases a psychotherapist is dealing with the resistance of clients, trying to turn their attention from a symptom to their everyday situation that includes their way of thinking, interactions with themselves and with others and with the external world in order to have the opportunity to see the real problem, to live it through, to rethink and to change the story of their lives. For better understanding about how it works I want to tell you three allegorical tales. The name of the first tale is “A frog in boiling water”. There is one scientific anecdote and an assumption (however, it is noted that such experiments were held in 19 century), that if we put a frog in a pot with warm water and start to slowly heat the water, then this frog get used to the temperature rise and stays in a hot water, the frog doesn’t fight the situation, slowly begins to lose its energy and at the last moment it couldn’t find enough strength and energy to get out of that pot. But if we throw a frog abruptly in hot water - it jumps out very quickly. It is likely that a frog, that is seating in boiling water, will have some responses of the body (symptoms). For example, the temperature of its body will rise, the same as the color of it, etc., that is an absolutely normal body response to the existing situation. But let us keep fantasizing further. Imagine a cartoon where such a frog is the magical cartoon hero, that comes to some magical cartoon doctor, shows its skin, that has changed the color, to the doctor, and asks to change the situation by removing this unpleasant symptom. So the doctor prescribes some medication to return the natural green color of the frog’s skin back. The frog gets back in its hot water. For some period of time this medication helps. But then, after a while, the frog’s body gets over the situation, and the redness of the frog's skin gets back. And the magical cartoon doctor states that the resistance of the body to this medication has increased, and each time prescribes some more and more strong drugs. In this example with the frog it is perfectly clear that the true solution of the problem requires the reduction of the water temperature in that pot. We could propose that magical cartoon frog to think and try to realize that: 1) the water in that pot is hot, and that is the reason why the skin is red; 2) the frog got used to this situation and that is why it is so unnoticeably for this frog; 3) if the temperature of the water in the pot still stay so hot, without any temperature drop, then all the medication works only temporarily; 4) if we lower the temperature in that pot - the redness disappears on its own, automatically and without any medication. Also this cartoon frog, that will go after the doctor to some cartoon physiotherapist, will face the necessity to give itself some answers for such questions as: 1) What is going on? Who has put this frog in that pot? Who is raising the temperature progressively? Who needs it? And what is the purpose or benefit for this person in that? Who benefits? 2) Why did the frog get into the pot? What are the benefits in it for the frog? Or why did the frog agree to that? 3) What does the frog lose when it gets out of this pot? What are the consequences of it for the frog? What does the frog have to face? What are the possible difficulties on the way? Who would be against the changes? With whom the frog may confront? 4) Is the frog ready to take control over its own pot in its own hands and start to regulate the temperature of the water by itself, so to make this temperature comfortable for itself? Is this frog ready to influence by itself on its own living space, to take the responsibility for it to itself? The example “A frog in boiling water” is often used as a metaphorical portrayal of the inability of people to respond (or fight back) to significant changes that slowly happen in their lives. Also this tale shows that a body, while trying to adjust to unfavorable living conditions, will react with a symptom. And it is very important to understand this symptom. Symptom - is the response of a body, it’s a way a body adjusts to some unfriendly environment. Symptom, on the one hand, informs about the existence of a problem, and from the other hand - tries to regulate this problem, at least in some way (like, to remove or reduce), at the level on which it can do it. The process is similar to those when, for example, in a body, while it suffers from some infectious disease, the temperature rises. Thus, on the one hand, the temperature informs about the existence of some infection. On the other hand, the temperature increase creates in a body the situation that is damaging for the infection. So, it would be good to think about in what way does an anxiety symptom help a body that is surrounded by some toxic life situation. And this is a good topic for another article. Here I want to emphasize that all the attempts to remove a symptom without a removal of a problem, without changing the everyday life story, may lead to strengthening of the symptom in the body. Even though the removal of a symptom without elimination of its cause has shown success, it only means that the situation was changed into the condition of asymptomatic existence of a problem. And it is, in its essence, a worse situation. For example, it can cause an occurrence of cancer. The tale “A frog in boiling water” is about the tendency of people to treat a symptom, instead of seeing their real problems, as its cause, and trying to solve it. People don’t want to see their problems, but it doesn’t mean that the problem doesn’t exist. The problem does exist and it continues to destroy a person, unnoticeably for him or her. A person with panic disorder could show us anxiety that is out of control (fear, panic), which, by its essence, seems to exist without any logical reason. Meanwhile the body of such a person could be in such processes that are similar to those that occur in the conditions of some real dangers, when the instinct for self-preservation is triggered and an automatic response of a body to fight or flight implements for its full potential. We can see or feel signs of this response, for example, in cases when some person tries to avoid some real or imaginary danger via attempts to escape (the feeling of fear), or tries to handle the situation by some attempts to fight (the feeling of anger). As I mentioned before, many doctors believe that such fear is pathological, as there is no real reason for such intense anxiety. They may see the cause of the problem in worrisome temper, so they try to remove specifically anxiety rather than help such patients to understand specific reason of their anxiety, they use special psychotherapeutic methods that are designed to help clients to develop logical thinking, so it must help them to realize the groundlessness of their anxiety. In my point of view, such anxiety often has specific, real reasons, when this response of a body, fight or flight, is absolutely appropriate, but not excessive or pathological. Inadequacy, in fact, is in the unconsciousness, but not in the reactions of a body. For a better understanding of the role of anxiety in some toxic environment, that isn’t realized, I want to tell you another allegorical tale called “The wolf and the hare”. Let us imagine that two cages were brought together in one room. The wolf was inside one cage and the hare was in another. The cages were divided by some kind of curtain that makes it impossible for them to see each other. At this point a question arises whether the animals react to each other in some way in such a situation, or not? I think that yes, they will. Since there are a lot of other receptors that participate in the receiving and processing of the sensory information. As well as sight and hearing, we have of course a range of other senses. For example, animals have a strong sense of smell. It is well known that people, along with verbal methods of communicating information, like language and speaking, also have other means of transmitting information - non-verbal, such as tone of voice, intonation, look, gestures, body language, facial expressions etc., that gives us the opportunity to receive additional information from each other. The lie detector works by using this principle: due to detecting non-verbal signals, it distinguishes the level of the accuracy of information that is transmitted. It is assumed, that about 30% of information, that we receive from the environment, comes through words, vision, hearing, touches etc. This is the information that we are aware of in our consciousness, so we could consciously (logically) use it to be guided by. And approximately 70% of everyday information about the reality around us we receive non-verbally, and this information in the majority of cases could remain in us without any recognition. It is the situation when we’ve already known something, and we even have already started to respond to it via our body, but we still don’t know logically and consciously that we know it. We can observe the responses of our own body without understanding what are the reasons for such responses. We can recognize this unconscious information through certain pictures, associations, dreams, or with the help of psychoanalysis. Psychoanalysis is a great tool that can help to recognize the information from the unconscious mind, so that it can be logically processed further on, in other words, a person then receives the opportunity to indicate the real problems and to make right decisions. But let us return to the tale where the hare and the wolf stay in one room and don’t see each other, and, maybe, don’t hear, though - feel. These feelings (in other words - non-verbal information that the hare receives) activate a certain response in the hare’s body. And it reacts properly and adequately to the situation, for instance, the body starts to produce adrenaline and runs the response “fight or flight”. So the hare starts to behave accordingly and we could see the following symptoms: the hare is running around his cage, fussing, having some tremor and an increased heart rate, etc.. And now let us imagine this tale in some cartoon. The hare stays in its house, and the wolf wanders about this house. But the hare doesn’t see the wolf. Though the body of the hare gives some appropriate responses. And then that cartoon hare goes to a cartoon doctor and asks that doctor to give it some pill from its tremor and the increased heart rate. And in general asks to treat in some way this incomprehensible, confusing, totally unreasonable severe anxiety. If we try to replace the situation from this fairy-tale to a life story, we could see that it fits well to the script of interdependent relationships, where there are a couple “a victim and an aggressor”, and where such common for our traditional families’ occurrences as a domestic family violence, psychological and physical abuse take place. Only in 2019 a law was passed that follows the European norms and gives a legislative definition of such concepts as psychological domestic abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, bullying, that criminalizes all of these occurrences, establishes the punishment and directly points to people that could be a potential abuser. Among them are: a husband towards his wife, parents towards their children, a wife towards her husband, a superior towards a subordinate, a teacher towards his or her students, children towards each other etc.. When it comes to recognition of something as unacceptable, it seems more easy to put to that category such occurrences as physical and sexual abuse, as we could see here some obvious events. For example, beating or sexual harassment. Our society is ready to respond to these incidents in more or less adequate way, and to recognize them as a crime. But it is harder to deal with the recognition of psychological abuse as an offence. Psychological abuse in our families is common. Psychological abuse occurs through such situations, when one person, while using different psychological manipulations, such as violation of psychological borders, imposition of feeling of guilty or shame, etc., force another person to give up his or her needs and desires, and so in such a way make this person live another’s life. Such actions have an extremely negative effect on the mental health of these people, just as much as physical abuse. It can destroy a person from the inside, ruin self-esteem and a feeling of self-worth, create the situation of absolute dependence such victim from an abuser, including financial dependence etc.. It often happens that psychological abuse takes place against the backdrop of demonstrations of care and love. So you've got this story about the wolf and the hare, that are right next to each other, and the shield between two of them is a repression - a psychological defense mechanism, when a person turns a blind eye to such offences, that take place in his or her own life and towards him or her. And this person considers this as normal, doesn't realize, doesn't have a resource to realize, that it is a crime. Most importantly - doesn’t feel anything, as a repression takes place. But a body responds in a right way - from a certain point of the existence of such a toxic situation the response “fight or flight” is launched in a body at full, in other words - the fear and anxiety with the associated symptoms. The third allegorical tale I called “Defective suit”, which I read in the book of Clarissa Pinkola Estés with the name “Running With the Wolves". “Once one man came to a tailor and started to try on a suit. When he was standing in front of a mirror, he saw that the costume had uneven edges. - Don’t worry, - said the tailor. - If you hold the short edge of the suit by your left hand - nobody notices it. But then the man saw that a lapel of a jacket folded up a little bit. - It's nothing. You only need to turn your head and to nail it by your chin. The customer obeyed, but when he put on trousers, he saw that they were pulling. - All right, so just hold your trousers like this by your right hand - and everything will be fine, - the tailor comforts him. The client agreed with him and took the suit. The next day he put on his new suit and went for a walk, while doing everything exactly in the way that the tailor told him to. He waddled in a park, while holding the lapel by his chin, and holding the short edge of the suit by his left hand, and holding his trousers by his right hand. Two old men, who were playing checkers, left the game and started to watch him. - Oh, God! - said one of them. - Look at that poor cripple. - Oh, yes - the limp - is a disaster. But I'm wondering, where did he get such a nice suit?” Clarissa wrote: “The commentary of the second old man reflects the common response of the society to a woman, who built a great reputation for herself, but turned into a cripple, while trying to save it. “Yes, she is a cripple, but look how great her life is and how lovely she looks.” When the “skin” that we put on ourselves towards society is small, we become cripples, but try to hide it. While fading away, we try to waddle perky, so everyone could see that we are doing really well, everything is great, everything is fine”. As for me, this tale is also about the process of forming a symptom in a situation when one person tries very hard to match to another one, whether it is a husband, a wife or parents. It’s about a situation when such a person always tries to support the other one, while giving up his or her own needs and causing oneself harm in such a way by feeling a tension every day, that becomes an inner normality. And so this person doesn’t give oneself a possibility to relax, to be herself (or himself), to be spontaneous, free. As a result, in this situation the person, who was supported, looks perfect from the outside, but those who tried to match, arises some visible defect, like a limp - a symptom. And so this person lives like a cripple, under everyday stress and tension, trying to handle it, while sacrificing herself (or himself) and trying to maintain this situation, so not to lose the general picture of a beautiful family and to avoid shame. The tailor, who made this defective suit and tells how to wear the suit properly, in order to keep things going as they are going, often is a mother who raised a problematic child and then tells another person how to deal with her child in the right way. It is the situation when a mother-in-law tells her daughter-in-law how to treat her son properly. In other words, how to support him, when to keep silent, to handle, how to fit in, so that her problematic son and this relationship in general looks perfect. Or vice versa, when a mother-in-law tells her son-in-law how to support her problematic daughter, how to fit in etc.. When, for example, a woman acts like this in her marriage and with her husband, with these excessive efforts to fit in - then after a while everybody will talk like: “Look at this lovely man: he lives with his sick wife, and their family seems perfect!”. But when such a woman becomes brave enough to relax and to just let the whole thing go, everybody will see that the relationship in her marriage isn’t perfect, and it is the other one who has problems. Each time when someone tries excessively to match up to another one, while turning oneself in some kind of a cripple, - he or she, on the one hand, supports the comfort of that person, to whom he or she tries to match up, and on the other hand - such a situation always arises in that person such conditions as a continuous tension, anxiety, fear to act spontaneously. A symptom - is like a visible defect, that shows itself through the body (and may look like some kind of injury). It is the result of a hidden inner prison. As a result of evolution, a pain tells us about a problem that is needed to be solved. When we repress our pain we can’t see our needs and our problems at full. And then a body starts to talk to us via a symptom. Psychotherapy aims for providing a movement from a symptom to a resumption of sensitivity to feelings, a resumption of the ability to feel your psychological pain, so you can realize your own toxic story. In this perspective another fairy-tale looks interesting to analyze - it is Andersen's fairytale “Princess and the Pea”. In the tale a prince wanted to find a princess to marry. There was one requirement for women candidates, so the prince could select her among commoner - high level of sensitivity, as the real princess would feel a pea through the mountain of mattresses, and so she could have the ability to feel discomfort, to be in a good contact with her body, to tell about her discomfort without such feeling as shame and guilt, and to refuse that discomfort, so to have the readiness to solve her problems and to demand from others the respect for her needs. It is common for our culture that the expression “a princess on a pea” very often uses for a negative meaning. So people who are in good contact with their body and who can demand comfort for themselves are often called capricious. At the same time the heroes who are ready to suffer and to tolerate their pain, who are able to repress (stop to feel) their pain represents a good example to be followed in our society. So, we may see the next algorithm in cases of various anxiety disorders: the existence of some toxic situation that brings some danger to a person. And we need not to be confused: a danger exists not for a body, but for a personality. A toxic live situation as well as having a panic attack is not a threat for the health of a body (that is what medical examinations show), and vice versa - it’s like every day intensive sport training, that could be good for your health only to some degree. A toxic situation destroys a person as a personality, who longs for one self’s expression; the existence of such a defense mechanism as repression - it’s a life with closed eyes, in pink glasses, when there is inability (or the absence of the desire) to see its own toxic story; 3.the presence of a symptom - a healthy response of a body “fight or flight” to some toxic situation; displacement - it’s replacement of the attention from the situation to a symptom, when a person starts to see and search for the problem in some other place, not where it really is. A symptom takes as some spare, pathological reaction that we need to get rid of. The readiness to fight the symptom arises, and that is the goal of such methods of therapy as pharmacological therapy, CBT and many others; the absence of adequate actions that are directed towards the change of a toxic situation itself. The absence of the readiness to show aggression when it comes to protect its space. All of it is a mechanism of formation of primary anxiety and preparation for launch of secondary anxiety. A complete anxiety disorder is the interaction between a primary and a secondary anxiety.

This study, based on ethnographic research, examines how refugee status determination and third country resettlement processes influence the marriage practices of the southern Sudanese refugee community in Cairo. The study showed that because of their inability to attain socio- economic integration into the host community combined with the growing insecurity of the environment of Cairo for refugees, many southern Sudanese have had to reevaluate their traditional marriage practices and family values to qualify for resettlement and escape to a better life. For example, the expectation of resettlement can directly affect courtship strategies, dowry payments, and couples’ decisions regarding having children. Guidelines of UNHCR and/or resettlement countries play a considerable role in these decisions, as do rumours about marriage certification and difficulty in finding suitable partners in the West. In some instances, marriage becomes a business arrangement to secure resettlement. Refugee status denial sometimes has a negative impact on marriage, with spouses blaming each other for performing badly at the status determination interview, leading in some cases to violence and divorce. Sudanese youth with denied refugee status have particular difficulties as their hopes for a brighter future are dashed and with it their prospects of a normal family life.

<p>The revision of Act Number 1 of 1974 entered into discussion in the National Legislation Program (prolegnas) 2015-2019. The revision should be done because the values in the formulation of the Marriage Act is not in accordance with social protection measures and there are many shows non-compliance with the rules of article. Besides the purpose of the Marriage Act is regulating the marital life to be controlled by marriage administratively and can affect citizen identification. Indecision of Marriage Law, especially against the minimum age of marriage causes many losses, especially in women and children. The practice shows there are still many parents who marry off their children under the age of set for marriage, Based on that background the author proposes two fundamental issues: how the limit of age for marriage according to the religion, customs and laws. And why we are need for revision the Marriage Act regarding the minimum age limit of marriage. The result of this research and discussion made a conclusion that are differences of the determination for the age of the child at each legislations, but basically the set of 18 years old as a child can be held the responsibility, but on the Marriage Act for the woman's age, is 16 years old. Then the revision of Marriage Act can avoid the occurence of early marriage.</p>

This article was prepared on the basis of official statistics and special surveys of families, which were collected and published by the media in Turkestan. In pre-revolutionary Uzbekistan, the principles of family-marriage relations proceeded from the economic relations of the feudal period. Therefore, at this time, the systems of the patriarchal family were characteristic, that is, the dominance of men, the lack of freedom for women, forced marriages, and disregard for the interests and rights of women and children. Today's family customs and traditions have deep historical roots, which were significant precisely at the end of the 19th century on the territory of modern Uzbekistan.

Abstrak Perkawinan Siri adalah salah satu bentuk masalah yang tejadi di Negara Indonesia saat ini . Permasalahn ini sangat sulit untuk dipantau oleh pihak yang berwenang, karena mereka yang melaksanakan pernikahan siri ini tidak dilaporkan pernikahan mereka kepada pihak yang berkompeten dalam hal ini yakni Kantor Urusan Agama (KUA) bagi umat muslim dan Kantor Catatan Sipil bagi yang Non Muslim. Pernikahan siri biasanya dilakukan dihadapan tokoh masyarakat atau ustad sebagai Penghulu, atau ada juga yang dilakukan secara adat-istiadat saja kemudian tidak dilaporkan kepada pihak yang berwenang untuk dicatatkan sesuai ketentuan undang-undang No.1 tahun 1974 tentang Perkawinan pada pasal 2 ayat (2) yang berbunyi “tiaptiap perkawinan dicatat menurut peraturan perundang-undangan yang berlaku. Adapun masalah pencatatan perkawinan yang tidak dilaksanakan tidaklah menganggu keabsahan suatu perkawinan yang telah dilaksanakan sesuai hukum islam . karena sekedar menyangkut aspek administrative. Hanya saja jika suatu perwainan tidak dicatatkan, maka suamiistri tersebut tidak memiliki bukti otentik bahwa mereka telah melaksanakan suatu perkawinan yang sah. Akibatnya, dilihat dari aspek yuridis, perkawinan tersebut tidak diakui pemerintah, sehingga tidak mempunyai kekuatan hukum. Dampak positif maupun negative juga menyertai praktk perkawinan siri diantaranya untuk dampak positifnya meminimalisasi adanya perzinaan melalui seks bebas. Namun disisi lain juga dampak negatifnya adalah merugikan banyak pihak terutama hak dan kewajiban wanita dan anakanak dari perkawinan siri tersebut. Akibat hukumnya bagi perkawinan yang tidak memiliki Akte Nikah, secara Yuridis suami atau istri serta anak yang dilahirkan tidak dapat melakukan tindakan hukum keperdataan berkaitan dengan rumah tangganya. Anak-anaknya hanya akan diakui oleh Negara sebagai anak diluar kawin yang hanya memiliki hubungan keperdataan dengan ibu dan keluarga ibunya. Kata Kunci: Hak-hak anak dari pernikahan siri, peerceraian Abstract Siri marriage is one form of the problem that occurred in the State of Indonesia today. Cases is very difficult to be monitored by the authorities, because those who perform marriages this series not reported their marriage to the competent authorities in this case the Office of Religious Affairs (KUA) to Muslims and the Civil Registry for the non-Muslims. Wedding series is usually done before the community leader or cleric as a prince, or some are performed by customs only then are not reported to the authorities to be listed in accordance with the law No.1 of 1974 on Marriage in Article 2 paragraph (2) which reads "every marriage is recorded in accordance with the legislation in force. As for the issue of marriage registration were not carried out would not interfere with the validity of a marriage that has been conducted in accordance with Islamic law. because simply linked to administrative aspects. Only if a perwainan is not listed, then the couple have no authentic evidence that it has executed a valid marriage. As a result, the views from the juridical aspect, the marriage is not recognized by the government, so it does not have the force of law. Positive and negative impacts also accompany praktk marriage siri them to minimize their positive impact through free sex adultery. On the other hand also the negative impact is detrimental to many parties, especially the rights and obligations of women and children from the marriage siri. As a result of the consequences of the marriage that do not have a Marriage Certificate, in Juridical husband or wife and children who are born unable to perform civil legal action related to the household. Her children will only be recognized by the State as a child beyond the mating just have a civil relationship with her mother and her mother's family. Keywords: Children's rights from siri marriage, divorce

Главное предназначение человека в любой культуре, в том числе и в культуре кочевников Внутренней Азии- продолжение рода. Нормой традиционного общества была жизнь его членов в семье, в окружении детей и внуков. В данной статье предпринята попытка аккумулировать известный материал, отражающий особенности репродуктивной культуры тюрко-монгольских народов Внутренней Азии, представителей преимущественно кочевой культуры, ее развитие вплоть до начала ХХ в. Исследовательский интерес был сфокусирован на базовых представлениях и действиях, программирующих будущее семейное благополучие молодых членов кочевого общества. Внимание было также уделено проблеме внебрачных связей девушек и женщин в среде тюрко-монгольских народов Внутренней Азии, как важной категории репродуктивной культуры. Сравнительно-исторический и сравнительно-типологический анализ мировоззрения, обрядовой сферы и правовой культуры кочевников позволили выявить общий мировоззренческий пласт, формировавший представления о необходимости брака и о греховности одиночества. Люди не вступившие в брак, либо оставшиеся бездетными становились изгоями в обществе. С ними связывался целый ряд негативных представлений и примет, включая воззрения о превращении незамужних бездетных женщин после смерти в злых духов, вредящих женщинам и детям. Исследование проблемы целомудрия в кочевой среде показывает расхождение взглядов и обычаев традиционного общества с этическими нормами, отраженными в правовой культуре Монгольской империи и сменивших ее в последующем политических образований. Наибольшей строгостью отличались законы Монгольской империи. В процессе дальнейшего развития монгольского права отмечается смягчение наказаний за незаконные сексуальные отношения, наряду с растущей лояльностью общества к внебрачным связям и рождению внебрачных детей. Причиной такой ситуации стал, на наш взгляд, гендерный дисбаланс, сложившийся в кочевом обществе к XVII – XIX вв., высокая смертность женщин репродуктивного возраста и детей. В этой связи, сценарий репродуктивного поведения в культуре монгольских народов стал ориентирован на рождение детей без каких-либо ограничений.The main purpose of human in any culture, including the culture of the nomads of Inner Asia, is procreation. The standard of traditional society was the life of its members in the family, surrounded by children and grandchildren. This article attempts to accumulate known material reflecting the features of the reproductive culture of the Turkic-Mongolic peoples of Inner Asia, representatives of predominantly nomadic culture, its development right up to the beginning of the 20th century. Research interest focused on basic ideas and actions that program the future family well-being of nomadic society young members. Attention was also focused to the problem of extramarital relations of maidens and women among the Turkic-Mongolian peoples of Inner Asia, as an important category of reproductive culture. A comparative historical and comparative typological analysis of the worldview, the ritual sphere and the legal culture of nomads revealed a common ideological layer, which formed the idea of the need for marriage and the sinfulness of loneliness. People who did not marry, or those who remained childless, became outcasts of society. They were associated by a number of negative ideas and will accept, including the views of the transformation of unmarried childless women after death into evil spirits that harm women and children. The study of the problem of chastity in the nomadic environment shows the divergence of views and customs of the traditional society with the ethical standards reflected in the legal culture of the Mongolian empire and its successors. The laws of the Mongol Empire differed most rigorously. In the process of further development of the Mongolian law, there is a softening of punishments for illegal sexual relations, along with the growing loyalty of society to extramarital relations and the birth of illegitimate children. The reason for this situation was, in our opinion, a gender imbalance that developed in a nomadic society by the 17th – 19th centuries, a high mortality rate among women of reproductive age and children. In this regard, the scenario of reproductive behavior in the culture of the Mongolic peoples has become focused on the birth of children without any restrictions.

IntroductionContemporary theorisations of family often present change in marriage as an icon of deinstitutionalisation (Cherlin). This idea, widely discussed in sociology, has been deepened and extended by Giddens, Beck and Beck-Gernsheim, Beck-Gernsheim and Bauman, considered to be the main architects of the individualisation, detraditionalisation and risk theses (Brannen and Nielsen). According to these authors, contemporary family is an ephemeral, fluid, and fragilereality, and weakening as a traditional institution. At the same time, and partly as a result of the changes to this institution, there has been a rise in the individual’s capacity to reflect on and choose their own life, to the point that living a life of their own becomes the individual’s defining injunction. Based on an in-depth and detailed analysis of a number of young Portuguese people’s accounts of their entry into conjugality, this paper seeks to unveil some of the hidden constraints which persist despite this claim to individualisation. Whilst individuals incorporate a personalised narrative in their construction of that “special day” – stressing the performance of the wedding they wanted, in the way they chose – these data show the continuing influence of the family on individual decisions (e.g. to marry or not to marry, and how to marry). These empirical findings thus contribute to the recent body of literature complexifying the individualisation and detraditionalisation theses (Smart and Shipman, Gross, Smart, Eldén).Using Sociology to Unveil Individualisation’s Hidden ConstraintsThis discussion of contemporary marriages is driven by empirical data from a sociological qualitative study based on episodic interviews (Flick, An Introduction to Qualitative Research and The Episodic Interview). This research (Costa) was developed in 2009 and aimed at an in-depth understanding of family practices (Morgan, Risk and Family Practices, Family Connections and Rethinking Family Practices), specifically family rituals (Bossard and Boll, Imber-Black and Roberts, Wolin and Bennett). Using a theoretical sampling (Glaser and Strauss), accounts were collected from 30 middle-class individuals, both men and women, living in an urban medium-sized city (Évora) in the south of Portugal (southern Europe), and with at least one small child between the age of 3 and 14 years old. Confidentiality and anonymity were maintained, and all names used in this paper are pseudonyms. For the purposes of this paper, I focus only on the women’s accounts. On the one hand, particularly for them, socialisation and media culture helped to consolidate a social representation around the wedding (Gillis, Marriages of the Mind); on the other hand, their more exhaustive descriptions of the wedding day allow better for examining the hidden constraints to individualisation. Data were coded and analysed through a thematic and structural content analysis (Bardin). The analysis of emerging themes and issues regarding the diverse ways of entering into conjugality was primarily assisted by qualitative software (NVivo, QSR International) and then presented in the form of contextualised narratives. Using a sociological perspective, the themes presented below illustrate the major conclusions of this study. Big Decisions: To Marry or Not to Marry? How to Marry?At the core of the decision of whether “to marry or not to marry?” and “how to marry?,” one can find multiple and complex arguments, which go beyond simplistic justifications based exclusively on the couple’s decision (Chesser; Maillochnon and Castrén). Women in particular display an awareness of the ways in which their decisions regarding marriage are crossed by the will, desires or preferences of the parents or in-laws. This was the case of Maria dos Anjos, married at the age of 26:It was a choice of the two of us [to marry]. Not an imposition. I didn’t care whether we were married by church or not… and there were times when I even put forward the possibility of a simple civil marriage. However, my parents really liked that I got married by the church. I'm not sure if this is due to tradition, if… and... they talked about it… and I also thought it was beautiful... it was a beautiful party... the dress, all that fantasy... and I really loved marrying in the church... so it became a strong possibility when we began to think about it [to get marry]… The argument that two people might marry because of or also to please the parents or in-laws explains, at least partially, a certain pressure that the fiancées feel before marriage to marry “in a certain way.” Filipa, who dated for ten years, lived the wedding day like “the realisation of a childhood’s dream.” The satisfaction she obtained was shared with her parents and in-laws:To marry in the church, with the wedding dress, and everything else... My mother in-law is a religious person too, right? So we felt that we both like it, the two of us, my mother, my mother-in-law, they would also like it, so we decided to marry in the church. To do the parents’ will is to meet the expectations around a “beautiful” wedding, but sometimes also to fulfil the marriage that the parents did not have. Lurdes is an only daughter, married at the age of 29. She argues that “marriage should be primarily significant for those who actually marry, not the parents or in-laws”. Yet, that was not her case: For us, maybe it was not so important; the paper signed, the ceremony in the church… maybe the two of us made it for our parents. It doesn’t mean that we didn’t have fun [...] and I don’t mean by this that it was a sacrifice, or a hardship […] My mother had no more daughters, and had a great will to marry her only daughter in the church. My mother was not married by the church, but was only married by civil registry. She never managed to convince my dad to get married by the church. And perhaps it was a bit... to project on me what she had not done! Despite her having the will to do but did not achieve it. And maybe I made her wish come true; I realise that she had that desire, a great desire that her daughter would marry in the church. For me, it was not a problem. So, we finally did agree and married in the church. The family of origin thus clearly has a great influence over some of the big decisions associated with marriage, such as whether to get married at all, and whether to involve the church in the process.Small decisions: It Is All about Details! The intrusion of the family of origin is also felt on the apparently more individual decisions as the choice of the dress or several other details concerning the organisation of the ceremony and the party (Chesser, Leeds-Hurwitz). The wedding dress is a good example of how women in particular perceive a certain pressure for conformity and subjection to buy it or choose it “in a certain way.” Silvia, who married at age 23, remembers: I married with a traditional wedding dress, even though I did not want to. I took a long veil, yet I did not want it... because at the time... I wanted to take a short dress... my mum thought I should not... because my mother did not marry in a wedding dress, did not marry in the church, she was already pregnant at the time and so on [downgrade of the tone] so she made pressure so that I was dressed properly.Precisely in order to run away from these impositions, some women admit having bought the dress alone, almost secretly. Maria dos Anjos, for example, chose and bought the wedding dress alone so that she did not have to give in to pressure from anyone: I really enjoyed it! I took a wedding dress... I was the one who chose it; I went to buy it myself, with my own money. I said to myself ‘the wedding dress, I will choose it; I will not be constrained by... I will not take my godmother and then think’... oh... I knew that if I did it, I would have to submit a little to her likes and dislikes… no! So I went to choose the dress alone. The girl who was in the shop was an acquaintance of mine, I tried a lot of them, and when I tried that one, I said to myself ‘this is it!’ and so it was the one!The position of the spouses in the sibling group also has an effect on numerous decisions that fiancées must make in the lead-up to the wedding. Raquel, who felt this pressure before marriage, attributed it to a large extent to the fact that her husband is an only child: Pressure in the sense that João [her husband]... he is an only child, right? So… his parents were always very concerned with certain things. And... everybody... even little things that had no importance, they wanted to decide on that! […] There are a lot of things that have to be decided, a lot of detail and… what I really think is that it is a really unique day, and it's all very important and all that but... but... then each one gives his/her opinion... And ‘I want this,’ ‘I want that,’ ‘I want the other’… it's too much; it's a lot of pressure... to manage... on one side, on the other side… because to try not to hurt vulnerabilities ends up being... crazy. Completely! Those fifteen days before... I think they are... they are a little crazy!Seemingly unimportant details (such as the fact that the mother did not marry in a wedding dress) end up becoming major arguments behind the suggestions or impositions made by both parents and in-laws in relation to decisions surrounding their children’s weddings.(Un)important Decisions: The Guest List The parents of the couple are often heavily involved in the planning of the wedding partly because, although the day is officially about the bride and groom, it is also the way that the parents share this important milestone with their family and friends (Pleck, Kalmijn, Maillochnon and Castrén). Interviewees say it is “easy” to decide on the guest list, since, at first glance arguments behind the most significant family relatives and friends to be present on the wedding day have to do with proximity, relationality and pleasure or happiness in sharing the moment. Nevertheless, it can be a hard task for couples to implement the criteria of proximity in the selection of guests as initially planned. In cases where the family is larger and there are economic constraints, it is common for fiancées to feel some unpleasantness from those relatives who would like to have been invited and were not. In other cases, parents, closer to the extended family, are the ones who produce this tension. On the one hand, they feel the need to justify to some relatives the choices of their adult children who did not include them in the guest list; on the other hand, they are forced to accept the fact that that decision lies with the couple. When planning the marriage of Dora, her mother at one point said something like “[…] ‘but my aunt invited us to her wedding and now...’” Dora understood the suspension of the sentence as a subtle pressure from her mother, although, for her, the question was indeed a very simple one: I give a lot of importance to the people who are with me on a day-to-day basis and that really are with me in good and bad times. [...] It happened. It was easy. For me, it was [laughs]. To my way of thinking it was. It cost my parents. However, not to me [laughs]. It cost me nothing! When the family is larger – but when there are no economic constraints which limit the number of guests – it is more common that weddings are bigger. In these circumstances, it is also more common to have a certain meddling from the families of origin encouraging couples to include the guests of the parents. Teresa admits this is precisely what happened with her: It was not so difficult because we were not also so limited. […] We left everything to the satisfaction of all. […] there were many people who were distant relatives, whom I was not close to. It didn’t really matter to me whether those people were present or not. It had more to do with the will of my parents. And usually we were also invited to those people’s weddings, so maybe it was also because of that… In some other cases there is a kind of agreement between parents and adult children, which allows both to invite “whoever they want”. This is the case of Marina, who had 194 guests “on her side,” against around 70 invited by her husband: I invited more people than him. Why? Well... I could count on my parents, right? And what my parents told me was: ‘you invite whoever you want!’. So, I invited my friends, and some other people I was not as close to, but who my parents wanted me to invite, right? […] but ok, they made a point of inviting them, and since they did not impose any financial limits, instead, they said to me ‘invite whoever you want to’, and we invited... For me, it was a ‘deal.’ I was indifferent about it [laughs]. Marina admits that she made a “deal” with her parents. By letting them pay the costs, she gave tacit consent that they could invite those who they wanted, even if it was the case those guests “didn’t relate to [her] at all.” At the wedding of Raquel, the fact that “there is family that [only her] parents were keen on inviting” was one of the main points of contention between her parents and the couple. The indignation was greater since it was “your [their own, not the parent’s] wedding” and they were being pressed to include people who they “hardly knew,” and with whom they “had no connection”: There were people who came who I did not know even who they were! Never seen them anywhere... but ok, my parents were keen on inviting some people, because they know them and all that... and then... it went into widening, extending and then... it ended up with more than one hundred guests […] we wanted it to be more intimate, more... with closer people… but it was not! The engaged couple thus recognises the importance of the parents’ guests. As one of the interviewees points out, the question is not so much the imposition of the will of the parents, rather the recognition of the importance of certain guests because “they are important to the parents.” Thus, the importance of these guests is not directly measured by the couple, but indirectly by being part of the importance that parents give them.Counter-Decisions: Narratives from the Inside Out Joana, a first daughter, “felt in her skin” the “punishment” for not having succumbed to the pressure she felt over her decision to marry. She told us she had her teenage dreams; however, as she grew older she identified herself less and less with the wedding ceremony. Moreover, with the death of her grandmother, who was especially meaningful to her, “it no longer made sense” to arrange that kind of ceremony since it would always be “incomplete” without her presence. Her boyfriend also did not urge that they marry, instead preferring to live in a de facto union. Joana felt strongly the pressure to take on a role that her parents and in-laws wanted: on the one hand, because she was “a girl, and the oldest daughter;” on the other hand, because her mother-in-law insisted since she had not saw her other daughter to get marry in church, as she was only civilly married. In fact, Joana could marry in church because she had been educated in the Catholic religion and met all the formal requirements to perform a religious marriage: I was the person who was prepared to move forward with this. And I did not! I'm not sorry. I don’t regret it at all! Although not regretted, Joana felt “very deeply” the gap between the expectations of her parents and the direction that she decided to give to her life when she told her parents she did not wanted to marry. She had the same boyfriend since adolescence, whom she moved in with on a New Year's Day at the age of 27. On that evening she organised a small party in the house they had rented and furnished, and stayed there for good. The mother “never forgave her.” The following year, when her sister got married, Joana “had the punishment” of, in the eyes of the mother, “not having done the right thing”: one thing I would have loved to have was a nightshirt [old piece of clothing, handmade] of my grandmother [...] But my mother kept the nightshirt and gave it to my sister on the day she married! My sister also loved my grandmother..., but she didn’t have the same emotional bond that I had with her! So, I got hurt. Honestly, I got! And the day of my sister's wedding for me it was full of surprises... This episode is particularly revealing of how Joana experienced the disappointment that caused to her parents for not having married: I did not have the faintest idea that she [her mother] was going to do that... Yet she kept it [the nightshirt]! [...] She kept it, and then she gave it to my sister! [...] It was my grandmother’s! And then I said, ‘but I was the first to get married!’ And it was I who had a closer relationship with my grandmother. I found it very unfair! [...] Joana sees this wedding gift as “a prize”: It was... she [her sister] was awarded because ‘you did the right thing,’ ‘you got married,’ ‘you had done it with all the pomp ... so take this [the nightshirt], that was of your grandmother!’ The day of her sister's wedding would still hold another surprise for Joana, that one coming from her father. She remembers always seeing at home a bottle of aged whiskey that her father “kept for the first daughter who gets to marry.” I did not get married, right? And... and it was sad to see that day and get the bottle open, the bottle that was proudly kept untouched for many years until the first daughter to marry... Whilst most women admit to have given in to pressure from parents and in-laws, Joana’s example demonstrates another side – emotionally painful – of those who did not conform to marry or to marry in a certain way.Conclusion Based on empirical research on marriages as a family ritual, I have argued that behind representations and discourses of a wedding “of our own,” quite often individuals grant the importance, of, and sometimes they are even pressured by, their families of origin (e.g. parents and in-laws). At the crossroad of tradition and modernity, this pressure is pervasive from the most important to the most apparently trivial decisions or details concerning the mise en scène of the ritual elements chosen to give a symbolic meaning to the ceremony and party (Chesser, Leeds-Hurwitz).Empirical findings and data discussion thus confirm and reinforce the high symbolic value that, despite all the changes weddings, still assume in contemporary society (Berger and Kellner, Segalen and Gillis, A World of their Own Making, Our Virtual Families and Marriages of the Mind). The power and influence of the size and density of the families of origin is not a part of history left behind by the processes of individualization and detraditionalization; rather, families continue to play a central role in structuring the actual options behind the anticipation, planning, and organisation of the wedding. This demonstrates that the reality of contemporary relationality is vastly more textured (Smart) than the normative generalisations of the individualisation and detraditionalisation theses imply, and suggests that in contemplating contemporary marriage conventions, the overt claims to individual choice and autonomy should be be contextualised by the variety of relationships the bride and groom participate in. References Bardin, Laurence. L’Analyse de Contenu. Paris: PUF, 1977. Bauman, Zygmunt. Liquid Love: On the Frailty of Human Bonds. Cambridge: Polity, 2003. Beck, Ulrich, and Beck-Gernsheim, Elisabeth. The Normal Chaos of Love. Cambridge: Polity, 1995. Beck-Gernsheim, Elisabeth. Reinventing the Family: In search of New Lifestyles. Cambridge: Polity, 2002. Berger, Peter, and Kellner, Hansfried. “Marriage and the constitution of reality.” Diogenes 46 (1964): 1–24. Bossard, James, and Boll, Eleanor. Ritual in Family Living – A Contemporary Study. Philadelphia: U Pennsylvania P, 1950. 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Sage Publications: London, 1998. —. The Episodic Interview: Small-scale Narratives as Approach to Relevant Experiences (Series Paper) (1997). 29 Oct. 2010 ‹http://www2.lse.ac.uk/methodologyInstitute/pdf/QualPapers/Flick-episodic.pdf›. Giddens, Anthony. The Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love and Eroticism in Modern Societies. Cambridge: Polity, 1992. Gillis, John. “Marriages of the Mind.” Journal of Marriage and Family 66.4 (2004): 988–91. —. A World of their Own Making. Myth, Ritual, and the Quest for family Values. Cambridge: Harvard UP, 1996. —. Our Virtual Families: Toward a Cultural Understanding of Modern Family Life, The Emory Center for Myth and Ritual in American Life – Working Paper, 2. Rutgers U/Department of History (2000). 03 Nov. 2005 ‹http://www.marial.emory.edu/pdfs/Gillispaper.PDF›. Glaser, Barney, and Strauss, Anselm. The Discovery of Grounded Theory: Strategies for Qualitative Research. Chicago: Aldine Publishing Company, 1967. Gross, Neil. “The Detraditionalization of Intimacy Reconsidered.” Sociological Theory 23.3 (2005): 286–311. Imber-Black, Evan, and Roberts, Janine. Rituals for Our Times: Celebrating, Healing, and Changing our Lives and our Relationships. New York: Harper Perennial, 1993. Kalmijn, Matthijs. “Marriage Rituals as Reinforcers of Role Transitions: an Analysis of Wedding in the Netherlands.” Journal of Marriage and Family 66 (2004): 582–94. Leeds-Hurwitz, Wendy. “Making Marriage Visible: Wedding Anniversaries as the Public Component of Private Relationships.” Text 25.5 (2005): 595–631. Maillochnon, Florence, and Castrén, Anna-Maija. “Making Family at a Wedding: Bilateral Kinship and Equality.” Families and Kinship in Contemporary Europe. Ed. Ritta Jallinoja, and Eric D. Widmer. Hampshire: Palgrave and Macmillan, 2011. 31–44. Morgan, David. “Risk and Family Practices: Accounting for Change and Fluidity in Family Life.” The New Family?. Ed. Elisabeth B. Silva, and Carol Smart. 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Introduction Special occasion cookery has been a staple of the cookbook writing in the English speaking Western world for decades. This includes providing catering for personal milestones as well as religious and secular festivals. Yet, in an era when the culinary publishing sector is undergoing considerable expansion and market segmentation, narratives of foods marking of one of life’s central and inescapable rites—death—are extremely rare. This discussion investigates examples of food writing related to death and funeral rites in contemporary cookbooks. Funeral feasts held in honour of the dead date back beyond recorded history (Luby and Gruber), and religious, ceremonial and community group meals as a component of funeral rites are now ubiquitous around the world. In earlier times, the dead were believed to derive both pleasure and advantage from these offerings (LeClercq), and contemporary practice still reflects this to some extent, with foods favoured by the deceased sometimes included in such meals (see, for instance, Varidel). In the past, offering some sustenance as a component of a funeral was often necessary, as mourners might have travelled considerable distances to attend the ceremony, and eateries outside the home were not as commonplace or convenient to access as they are today. The abundance and/or lavishness of the foods provided may also have reflected the high esteem in which the dead was held, and offered as a mark of community respect (Smith and Bird). Following longstanding tradition, it is still common for Western funeral attendees to gather after the formal parts of the event—the funeral service and burial or cremation —in a more informal atmosphere to share memories of the deceased and refreshments (Simplicity Funerals 31). Thursby notes that these events, which are ostensibly about the dead, often develop into a celebration of the ties between living family members and friends, “times of reunions and renewed relationships” (94). Sharing food is central to this celebration as “foods affirm identity, strengthen kinship bonds, provide comfortable and familiar emotional support during periods of stress” (79), while familiar dishes evoke both memories and promising signals of the continued celebration of life” (94). While in the southern states and some other parts of the USA, it is customary to gather at the church premises after the funeral for a meal made up of items contributed by members of the congregation, and with leftovers sent home with the bereaved family (Siegfried), it is more common in Australasia and the UK to gather either in the home of the principal mourners, someone else’s home or a local hotel, club or restaurant (Jalland). Church halls are a less common option in Australasia, and an increasing trend is the utilisation of facilities attached to the funeral home and supplied as a component of a funeral package (Australian Heritage Funerals). The provision of this catering largely depends on the venue chosen, with the cookery either done by family and/or friends, the hotel, club, restaurant or professional catering companies, although this does not usually affect the style of the food, which in Australia and New Zealand is often based on a morning or afternoon tea style meal (Jalland). Despite widespread culinary innovation in other contexts, funeral catering bears little evidence of experimentation. Ash likens this to as being “fed by grandmothers”, and describes “scones, pastries, sandwiches, biscuits, lamingtons—food from a fifties afternoon party with the taste of Country Women’s Association about it”, noting that funerals “require humble food. A sandwich is not an affront to the dead” (online). Numerous other memoirists note this reliance on familiar foods. In “S is for Sad” in her An Alphabet for Gourmets (1949), food writer M.F.K. Fisher writes of mourners’s deep need for sustenance at this time as a “mysterious appetite that often surges in us when our hearts seem breaking and our lives too bleakly empty” (135). In line with Probyn’s argument that food foregrounds the viscerality of life (7), Fisher notes that “most bereaved souls crave nourishment more tangible than prayers: they want a steak. […] It is as if our bodies, wiser than we who wear them, call out for encouragement and strength and […] compel us […] to eat” (135, 136). Yet, while funerals are a recurring theme in food memoirs (see, for example, West, Consuming), only a small number of Western cookbooks address this form of special occasion food provision. Feast by Nigella Lawson Nigella Lawson’s Feast: Food that Celebrates Life (2004) is one of the very few popular contemporary cookbooks in English that includes an entire named section on cookery for funerals. Following twenty-one chapters that range from the expected (Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and wedding) to more original (children’s and midnight) feasts, Lawson frames her discussion with an anthropological understanding of the meaning of special occasion eating. She notes that we use food “to mark occasions that are important to us in life” (vii) and how eating together “is the vital way we celebrate anything that matters […] how we mark the connections between us, how we celebrate life” (vii). Such meals embody both personal and group identities because both how and what is eaten “lies at the heart of who we are-as individuals, families, communities” (vii). This is consistent with her overall aims as a food writer—to explore foods’ meanings—as she states in the book’s introduction “the recipes matter […] but it is what the food says that really counts” (vii). She reiterates this near the end of the book, adding, almost as an afterthought, “and, of course, what it tastes like” (318). Lawson’s food writing also reveals considerable detail about herself. In common with many other celebrity chefs and food writers, Lawson continuously draws on, elaborates upon, and ultimately constructs her own life as a major theme of her works (Brien, Rutherford, and Williamson). In doing so, she, like these other chefs and food writers, draws upon revelations of her private life to lend authenticity to her cooking, to the point where her cookbooks could be described as “memoir-illustrated-with-recipes” (Brien and Williamson). The privileging of autobiographical information in Lawson’s work extends beyond the use of her own home and children in her television programs and books, to the revelation of personal details about her life, with the result that these have become well known. Her readers thus know that her mother, sister and first and much-loved husband all died of cancer in a relatively brief space of time, and how these tragedies affected her life. Her first book, How to Eat: The Pleasures and Principles of Good Food (1998), opened with the following dedication: “In memory of my mother, Vanessa (1936–1985) and my sister Thomasina (1961–1993)” (dedication page). Her husband, BBC broadcaster and The Times (London) journalist John Diamond, who died of throat cancer in 2001, furthered this public knowledge, writing about both his illness and at length about Lawson in his column and his book C: Because Cowards Get Cancer Too (1999). In Feast, Lawson discusses her personal tragedies in the introduction of the ‘Funeral Foods’ chapter, writing about a friend's kind act of leaving bags of shopping from the supermarket for her when she was grieving (451). Her first recipe in this section, for a potato topped fish pie, is highly personalised in that it is described as “what I made on the evening following my mother’s funeral” (451). Following this, she again uses her own personal experience when she notes that “I don’t think anyone wants to cook in the immediate shock of bereavement […] but a few days on cooking can be a calming act, and since the mind knows no rest and has no focus, the body may as well be busy” (451). Similarly, her recipe for the slowly hard-boiled, dark-stained Hamine Eggs are described as “sans bouche”, which she explains means “without mouths to express sorrow and anguish.” She adds, drawing on her own memories of feelings at such times, “I find that appropriate: there is nothing to be said, or nothing that helps” (455). Despite these examples of raw emotion, Lawson’s chapter is not all about grief. She also comments on both the aesthetics of dishes suitable for such times and their meanings, as well as the assistance that can be offered to others through the preparation and sharing of food. In her recipe for a lamb tagine that includes prunes, she notes, for example, that the dried plums are “traditionally part of the funeral fare of many cultures […] since their black colour is thought to be appropriate to the solemnity of the occasion” (452). Lawson then suggests this as a suitable dish to offer to someone in mourning, someone who needs to “be taken care of by you” (452). This is followed by a lentil soup, the lentils again “because of their dark colour … considered fitting food for funerals” (453), but also practical, as the dish is “both comforting and sustaining and, importantly, easy to transport and reheat” (453). Her next recipe for a meatloaf containing a line of hard-boiled eggs continues this rhetorical framing—as it is “always comfort food […] perfect for having sliced on a plate at a funeral tea or for sending round to someone’s house” (453). She adds the observation that there is “something hopeful and cheering about the golden yolk showing through in each slice” (453), noting that the egg “is a recurring feature in funeral food, symbolising as it does, the cycle of life, the end and the beginning in one” (453). The next recipe, Heavenly Potatoes, is Lawson’s version of the dish known as Mormon or Utah Funeral potatoes (Jensen), which are so iconic in Utah that they were featured on one of the Salt Lake City Olympic Games souvenir pins (Spackman). This tray of potatoes baked in milk and sour cream and then topped with crushed cornflakes are, she notes, although they sound exotic, quite familiar, and “perfect alongside the British traditional baked ham” (454), and reference given to an earlier ham recipe. These savoury recipes are followed by those for three substantial cakes: an orange cake marbled with chocolate-coffee swirls, a fruit tea loaf, and a rosemary flavoured butter cake, each to be served sliced to mourners. She suggests making the marble cake (which Lawson advises she includes in memory of the deceased mother of one of her friends) in a ring mould, “as the circle is always significant. There is a cycle that continues but—after all, the cake is sliced and the circle broken—another that has ended” (456). Of the fruitcake, she writes “I think you need a fruit cake for a funeral: there’s something both comforting and bolstering (and traditional) about it” (457). This tripartite concern—with comfort, sustenance and tradition—is common to much writing about funeral foods. Cookbooks from the American South Despite this English example, a large proportion of cookbook writing about funeral foods is in American publications, and especially those by southern American authors, reflecting the bountiful spreads regularly offered to mourners in these states. This is chronicled in novels, short stories, folk songs and food memoirs as well as some cookery books (Purvis). West’s memoir Consuming Passions: A Food Obsessed Life (2000) has a chapter devoted to funeral food, complete with recipes (132–44). West notes that it is traditional in southern small towns to bring covered dishes of food to the bereaved, and that these foods have a powerful, and singular, expressive mode: “Sometimes we say all the wrong things, but food […] says, ‘I know you are inconsolable. I know you are fragile right now. And I am so sorry for your loss’” (139). Suggesting that these foods are “concern and sympathy in a Pyrex bowl” (139), West includes recipes for Chess pie (a lemon tart), with the information that this is known in the South as “funeral pie” (135) and a lemon-flavoured slice that, with a cup of tea, will “revive the spirit” (136). Like Lawson, West finds significance in the colours of funeral foods, continuing that the sunny lemon in this slice “reminds us that life continues, that we must sustain and nourish it” (139). Gaydon Metcalf and Charlotte Hays’s Being Dead is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral (2005), is one of the few volumes available dedicated to funeral planning and also offers a significant cookery-focused section on food to offer at, and take to, funeral events. Jessica Bemis Ward’s To Die For: A Book of Funeral Food, Tips, and Tales from the Old City Cemetery, Lynchburg, Virginia (2004) not only contains more than 100 recipes, but also information about funeral customs, practical advice in writing obituaries and condolence notes, and a series of very atmospheric photographs of this historic cemetery. The recipes in the book are explicitly noted to be traditional comfort foods from Central Virginia, as Ward agrees with the other writers identified that “simplicity is the by-word when talking about funeral food” (20). Unlike the other examples cited here, however, Ward also promotes purchasing commercially-prepared local specialties to supplement home-cooked items. There is certainly significantly more general recognition of the specialist nature of catering for funerals in the USA than in Australasia. American food is notable in stressing how different ethnic groups and regions have specific dishes that are associated with post-funeral meals. From this, readers learn that the Amish commonly prepare a funeral pie with raisins, and Chinese-American funerals include symbolic foods taken to the graveside as an offering—including piles of oranges for good luck and entire roast pigs. Jewish, Italian and Greek culinary customs in America also receive attention in both scholarly studies and popular American food writing (see, for example, Rogak, Purvis). This is beginning to be acknowledged in Australia with some recent investigation into the cultural importance of food in contemporary Chinese, Jewish, Greek, and Anglo-Australian funerals (Keys), but is yet to be translated into local mainstream cookery publication. Possible Publishing Futures As home funerals are a growing trend in the USA (Wilson 2009), green funerals increase in popularity in the UK (West, Natural Burial), and the multi-million dollar funeral industry is beginning to be questioned in Australia (FCDC), a more family or community-centered “response to death and after-death care” (NHFA) is beginning to re-emerge. This is a process whereby family and community members play a key role in various parts of the funeral, including in planning and carrying out after-death rituals or ceremonies, preparing the body, transporting it to the place of burial or cremation, and facilitating its final disposition in such activities as digging the grave (Gonzalez and Hereira, NHFA). Westrate, director of the documentary A Family Undertaking (2004), believes this challenges us to “re-examine our attitudes toward death […] it’s one of life’s most defining moments, yet it’s the one we typically prepare for least […] [and an indication of our] culture of denial” (PBS). With an emphasis on holding meaningful re-personalised after-disposal events as well as minimal, non-invasive and environmentally friendly treatment of the body (Harris), such developments would also seem to indicate that the catering involved in funeral occasions, and the cookbooks that focus on the provision of such food, may well become more prominent in the future. References [AHF] Australian Heritage Funerals. “After the Funeral.” Australian Heritage Funerals, 2013. 10 Mar. 2013 ‹http://www.ahfunerals.com.au/services.php?arid=31›. Ash, Romy. “The Taste of Sad: Funeral Feasts, Loss and Mourning.” Voracious: Best New Australian Food Writing. Ed. Paul McNally. Richmond, Vic.: Hardie Grant, 2011. 3 Apr. 2013 ‹http://www.romyash.com/non-fiction/the-taste-of-sad-funeral-feasts-loss-and-mourning›. Brien, Donna Lee, Leonie Rutherford, and Rosemary Williamson. "Hearth and Hotmail: The Domestic Sphere as Commodity and Community in Cyberspace." M/C Journal 10.4 (2007). 28 Apr. 2013 ‹http://journal.media-culture.org.au/0708/10-brien.php›. Brien, Donna Lee, and Rosemary Williamson. “‘Angels of the Home’ in Cyberspace: New Technologies and Biographies of Domestic Production”. Biography and New Technologies. Australian National University. Humanities Research Centre, Canberra, ACT. 12-14 Sep. 2006. Conference Presentation. Diamond, John. C: Because Cowards Get Cancer Too… . London: Vermilion, 1998. Fisher, M.F.K. “S is for Sad.” An Alphabet for Gourmets. New York, North Point P, 1989. 1st. pub. New York, Viking: 1949. Gonzalez, Faustino, and Mildreys Hereira. “Home-Based Viewing (El Velorio) After Death: A Cost-Effective Alternative for Some Families.” American Journal of Hospice & Pallative Medicine 25.5 (2008): 419–20. Harris, Mark. Grave Matters: A Journey Through the Modern Funeral Industry to a Natural Way of Burial. New York: Scribner, 2007. Jalland, Patricia. Australian Ways of Death: A Social and Cultural History 1840-1918. Melbourne: Oxford UP, 2002. Jensen, Julie Badger. The Essential Mormon Cookbook: Green Jell-O, Funeral Potatoes, and Other Secret Combinations. Salt Lake City: Deseret, 2004. Keys, Laura. “Undertaking a Jelly Feast in Williamstown.” Hobsons Bay Leader 28 Mar. 2011. 2 Apr. 2013 ‹http://hobsons-bay-leader.whereilive.com.au/news/story/undertaking-a-jelly-feast-in-williamstown›. Lawson, Nigella. How to Eat: The Pleasures and Principles of Good Food. London: Chatto & Windus, 1998. ---. Feast: Food that Celebrates Life. London: Chatto & Windus, 2004. LeClercq, H. “The Agape Feast.” The Catholic Encyclopedia I, New York: Robert Appleton, 1907. 3 Apr. 2013. ‹http://www.piney.com/AgapeCE.html›. Luby, Edward M., and Mark F. Gruber. “The Dead Must Be Fed: Symbolic Meanings of the Shellmounds of the San Francisco Bay Area.” Cambridge Archaeological Journal 9.1 (1999): 95–108. Metcalf, Gaydon, and Charlotte Hays. Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral. New York: Miramax, 2005. [NHFA] National Home Funeral Alliance. “What is a Home Funeral?” National Home Funeral Alliance, 2012. 3 Apr. 2013. ‹http://homefuneralalliance.org›. PBS. “A Family Undertaking.” POV: Documentaries with a Point of View. PBS, 2004. 3 Apr. 2013 ‹http://www.pbs.org/pov/afamilyundertaking/film_description.php#.UYHI2PFquRY›. Probyn, Elspeth. Carnal Appetites: Food/Sex/Identities. London: Routledge, 2000. Purvis, Kathleen. “Funeral Food.” The Oxford Companion to American Food and Drink. Ed. Andrew F. Smith. New York: Oxford UP, 2007. 247–48. Rogak, Lisa. Death Warmed Over: Funeral Food, Rituals, and Customs from Around the World. Berkeley: Ten Speed P, 2004. Siegfried, Susie. Church Potluck Carry-Ins and Casseroles: Homestyle Recipes for Church Suppers, Gatherings, and Community Celebrations. Avon, MA.: Adams Media, 2006. Simplicity Funerals. Things You Need To Know About Funerals. Sydney: Simplicity Funerals, 1990. Smith, Eric Alden, and Rebecca L. Bliege Bird. “Turtle Hunting and Tombstone Opening: Public Generosity as Costly Signaling.” Evolution and Human Behavior 21.4 (2000): 245–61.Spackman, Christy. “Mormonism’s Jell-O Mold: Why Do We Associate the Religion With the Gelatin Dessert?” Slate Magazine 17 Aug. (2012). 3 Apr. 2013.Thursby, Jacqueline S. Funeral Festivals in America: Rituals for the Living. Lexington: UP of Kentucky, 2006. Varidel, Rebecca. “Bompas and Parr: Funerals and Food at Nelson Bros.” Inside Cuisine 12 Mar. (2011). 3 Apr. 2013 ‹http://insidecuisine.com/2011/03/12/bompas-and-parr-funerals-and-food-at-nelson-bros›. Ward, Jessica Bemis. Food To Die for: A Book of Funeral Food, Tips, and Tales from the Old City Cemetery, Lynchburg, Virginia. Lynchburg: Southern Memorial Association, 2004. West, Ken. A Guide to Natural Burial. Andover UK: Sweet & Maxwell, 2010. West, Michael Lee. Consuming Passions: A Food Obsessed Life. New York: Perennial, 2000. Wilson, M.T. “The Home Funeral as the Final Act of Caring: A Qualitative Study.” Master in Nursing thesis. Livonia, Michigan: Madonna University, 2009.