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1

Van Vuuren, H. "St. Teresa van Avila: sentrale figuur in die werk van Cussons en Van Wyk Louw." Literator 10, no. 3 (May 7, 1989): 85–97. http://dx.doi.org/10.4102/lit.v10i3.838.

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A central poem in Van Wyk Louw’s Tristia (1962), is “H. Teresa van Avila flap uit” (literally translated: “Saint Teresa of Avila talks too much/babbles uncontrollably”. This article illustrates how intertextual reading helped to clarify the poem. Teresa of Avila’s The way of perfection (a translation of the Spanish work El Camino de la Perfección, 1573) is the intertext of the Van Wyk Louw poem. In the last section of the article it is shown how the figure of St. Teresa of Avila is central not only to Van Wyk Louw’s Tristia (1962), but also to the oeuvre of Sheila Cussons, which underlines a strong intertextuality between these two Afrikaans oeuvres.
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Taggard, Mindy Nancarrow, and Carole Slade. "Saint Teresa of Avila: Author of a Heroic Life." Sixteenth Century Journal 27, no. 3 (1996): 934. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/2544108.

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DiMaggio, Kenneth. "St. Teresa of Avila: Nun, Saint, Creative Writing Teacher." International Journal of Religion and Spirituality in Society 4, no. 1 (2014): 55–65. http://dx.doi.org/10.18848/2154-8633/cgp/v04i01/59269.

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Paddock, John. "Carlos Eire, The Life of Saint Teresa of Avila: A Biography." Theology 123, no. 1 (January 2020): 68. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0040571x19883536u.

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Bové, Carol Mastrangelo. "Spain and Islam Once More: Fundamentalism in Sainte Thérèse d’Avila." Journal of French and Francophone Philosophy 26, no. 2 (December 7, 2018): 69–80. http://dx.doi.org/10.5195/jffp.2018.859.

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Julia Kristeva's Teresa, My Love: An Imagined Life of the Saint of Avila confronts us with the contemporary problem of violent forms of fundamentalism, especially Islamic, as it recreates the life of Saint Theresa. The novel's psychoanalytic perspective engages our emotions and sensations, and is also therapeutic for author and reader. But most of all, it engages our thinking and deals in depth with this compelling, timely issue.
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Cesareo, Francesco C., and Jodi Bilinkoff. "The Avila of Saint Teresa: Religious Reform in a Sixteenth-Century City." Sixteenth Century Journal 22, no. 2 (1991): 364. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/2542747.

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Maio, Eugene A., and Jodi Bilinkoff. "The Avila of Saint Teresa: Religious Reform in a Sixteenth-Century City." Sixteenth Century Journal 22, no. 2 (1991): 374. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/2542756.

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Martz, Linda, and Jodi Bilinkoff. "The Avila of Saint Teresa: Religious Reform in a Sixteenth-Century City." American Historical Review 96, no. 5 (December 1991): 1559. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/2165363.

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Howe, Elizabeth Teresa. "The Avila of Saint Teresa: Religious Reform in a Sixteenth-Century City.Jodi Bilinkoff." Speculum 67, no. 1 (January 1992): 112–14. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/2863755.

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Largier, Niklaus. "The Logic of Arousal: Saint Francis of Assisi, Teresa of Avila, andThérèse Philosophe." Qui Parle 13, no. 2 (2003): 1–18. http://dx.doi.org/10.1215/quiparle.13.2.1.

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Youn Joo-Hyun. "The Stages of Prayer according to Saint Teresa of Avila: I. The Active Stage." Theology and Philosophy ll, no. 18 (May 2011): 127–58. http://dx.doi.org/10.16936/theoph..18.201105.127.

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Youn Joo-Hyun. "The Stages of Prayer according to Saint Teresa of Avila: II. The Passive Stage." Theology and Philosophy ll, no. 20 (May 2012): 107–40. http://dx.doi.org/10.16936/theoph..20.201205.107.

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Robson, Jo. "Teresa of Avila and the Letters of Saint Jerome. Simple Encouragement or Substantial Influence?" Teresianum 70, no. 1 (January 2019): 9–46. http://dx.doi.org/10.1484/j.ter.5.117918.

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Rowe, Erin Kathleen. "The Spanish Minerva: Imagining Teresa of Avila as Patron Saint in Seventeenth-Century Spain." Catholic Historical Review 92, no. 4 (2006): 574–96. http://dx.doi.org/10.1353/cat.2007.0046.

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15

Eire, Carlos M. N. "Ecstasy as Polemic: Mysticism and the Catholic Reformation." Irish Theological Quarterly 83, no. 1 (December 13, 2017): 3–23. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0021140017742793.

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In the 16th century, Protestants rejected the possibility of mystical encounters between humans and God. Catholics responded in various ways, but perhaps most forcefully by continuing to claim mystical experiences and by emphasizing extreme forms of mysticism. This paper analyzes how that rejection affected the development of Catholic mysticism at that time, especially in the case of Saint Teresa of Avila (1515–82), whose ecstasies were closely examined by the Spanish Inquisition, but were subsequently approved and promoted as exemplary of the truths professed by the Catholic Church.
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16

Phélippeau, Marie-Claire. "Thomas More, the Mystic?" Moreana 52 (Number 199-, no. 1-2 (June 2015): 135–54. http://dx.doi.org/10.3366/more.2015.52.1-2.11.

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This paper intends to challenge G.K. Chesterton’s assertion regarding Thomas More: “He was a mystic and a martyr.” It will draw material from studies on mysticism, with the aim of finding accurate definitions of the concept, and from the writings of well-known mystics such as Bernard of Clairvaux, Catherine of Sienna, Teresa of Avila and Saint John of the Cross. Our study focuses on More’s Tower Works, (produced during the fifteen months of his imprisonment). It will analyze the mystical aspects in his writings and try to determine whether Thomas More can reasonably rank among the Catholic mystics.
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Burrus, Victoria A., and Ronald E. Surtz. "Writing Women in Late Medieval and Early Modern Spain: The Mothers of Saint Teresa of Avila." Hispanic Review 66, no. 1 (1998): 87. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/474780.

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18

Rawlings, H. "ERIN KATHLEEN ROWE. Saint and Nation: Santiago, Teresa of Avila, and Plural Identities in Early Modern Spain." American Historical Review 118, no. 1 (February 1, 2013): 264. http://dx.doi.org/10.1093/ahr/118.1.264.

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Kamen, Henry. "Erin Kathleen Rowe, Saint and Nation: Santiago, Teresa of Avila, and Plural Identities in Early Modern Spain." European History Quarterly 43, no. 2 (April 2013): 395–96. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0265691413478542al.

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Nalle, Sara T. "Saint and Nation: Santiago, Teresa of Avila, and Plural Identities in Early Modern Spain (review)." Catholic Historical Review 98, no. 3 (2012): 577–78. http://dx.doi.org/10.1353/cat.2012.0213.

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21

Baysal, Kübra. "A quest for unification with the divine: Crashaw’s Teresa Poems “A Hymn to the Name and Honour of the Admirable Saint Teresa” and “The Flaming Heart”." Ars Aeterna 11, no. 1 (June 1, 2019): 16–23. http://dx.doi.org/10.2478/aa-2019-0002.

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Abstract As a metaphysical poet, Richard Crashaw (1613-1649) is recognized for his stylistic experimentation and deep religious faith. In the course of his short life, he became a fellow at Cambridge, was later introduced to Queen Henrietta Marie, Charles I’s wife, in France after his exile during the Interregnum, converted to Catholicism from Anglicanism and was highly influenced by Baroque poetry and the martyrdom of St. Teresa of Avila in his style and themes. He is a poet with a “most holy, humble and genuine soul” and in the last six years of his life, which coincided with a period of great crisis in both personal and professional spheres, he worked intensively on the religious phase of his literary career (Shepherd 1914, p. 1). He reflected his devotion to St. Teresa and to God in his religious poems. Within this context, this study analyses Crashaw’s two Teresian poems, “A Hymn to the Name and Honour of the Admirable Saint Teresa” and “The Flaming Heart” featuring the themes of the quest for divine love and unification with the divine along with Crashaw’s divergence from other metaphysical poets, his affection for the European style(s), and his religious views concerning both his country and other countries in Europe.
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Szilágyi, Anikó. "Julia Kristeva: Teresa, My Love: An Imagined Life of the Saint of Avila, translated by Lorna Scott Fox." Translation and Literature 25, no. 2 (July 2016): 269–73. http://dx.doi.org/10.3366/tal.2016.0256.

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23

Damiani, Bruno M. "Writing Women in Late Medieval and Early Modern Spain. The Mothers of Saint Teresa of Avila by Ronald E. Surtz." Catholic Historical Review 82, no. 3 (1996): 560–62. http://dx.doi.org/10.1353/cat.1996.0229.

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24

Rhodes, Elizabeth. "The Life of Saint Teresa of Avila: A Biography. By Carlos Eire. Princeton, N.J.: Princeton University Press, 2019. xvi + 260 pp. $26.95 cloth." Church History 89, no. 4 (December 2020): 929–30. http://dx.doi.org/10.1017/s0009640721000263.

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25

Basic, Ivana. "Fragments of autobiography: The concept of “flickering compassion” in Portraits of Women by Ksenija Atanasijevic." Bulletin de l'Institut etnographique 68, no. 2 (2020): 353–76. http://dx.doi.org/10.2298/gei2002353b.

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In our discussion we will explore how Ksenija Atanasijevic, while writing about the poets and philosophers of ancient Greece, but also about Saint Teresa of Avila and George Sand, expressed her own understanding of the importance of women's scientific and artistic creativity, and also their emancipation. By choice of women she will write about, as well as emphasis on certain qualities of their personalities and their work, and the philosophical concepts she supported, Ksenija Atanasijevic simultaneously created her implicit imaginary philosophical "I" in Portraits of Women. Therefore, the most precise genre definition of Portraits of Women would be fragments of flickering compassion towards the personalities she is describing, and compassion can be defined as a key characteristic of her entire oeuvre and life - empathy was the basis of Ksenija Atanasijevic's ethical philosophy and her social, pacifist and feminist engagement and at the same time it was in her opinion the most important value of human life. With this choice, Ksenija Atanasijevic also anticipated the stance of contemporary feminism on the necessity of creating a female canon for shaping a women's personal and creative identity.
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26

Faithful, George. "The Life of Saint Teresa of Avila: A Biography, CarlosEire, Princeton University Press, 2019 (ISBN 978‐0‐691‐16593‐9), xviii + 262 pp., hb $26.95." Reviews in Religion & Theology 27, no. 4 (October 2020): 513–16. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/rirt.13894.

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27

Nader, Helen. "Jodi Bilinkoff. The Avila of Saint Teresa: Religious Reform in a Sixteenth-Century City. Ithaca and London: Cornell University Press. 1989. 7 illus.+XV + 218 pp. $24.95." Renaissance Quarterly 46, no. 1 (1993): 174–76. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/3039160.

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28

Altman, Ida. "Saint and Nation: Santiago, Teresa of Avila, and Plural Identities in Early Modern Spain. By Erin Kathleen Rowe. (University Park, Pa.: Pennsylvania State University Press, 2011. Pp. xv, 264. $74.95.)." Historian 74, no. 2 (June 1, 2012): 417–19. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-6563.2012.00322_65.x.

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29

Taddeo, Sara A. "Ronald E. Surtz. Writing Women in Late Medieval and Early Modern Spain: The Mothers of Saint Teresa of Avila. (Middle Ages Series.) Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, 1995. 223 pp. $32.95." Renaissance Quarterly 50, no. 1 (1997): 342–43. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/3039391.

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30

Forster, Marc R. "The Life of Saint Teresa of Avila. A biography. By Carlos Eire. (Lives of Great Religions Books.) Pp. xviii + 260 incl. frontispiece and 8 figs. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2019. £22. 978 0 691 16493 9." Journal of Ecclesiastical History 71, no. 4 (October 2020): 859–60. http://dx.doi.org/10.1017/s0022046920001001.

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31

Donahue, Darcy. "Erin Kathleen Rowe. Saint and Nation: Santiago, Teresa of Avila, and Plural Identities in Early Modern Spain. University Park: The Pennsylvania State University Press, 2011. xv + 264 pp. index. illus. map. bibl. $74.95. ISBN: 978–0–271–03773–8." Renaissance Quarterly 64, no. 4 (2011): 1291–93. http://dx.doi.org/10.1086/664145.

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32

Amelang, James. "Society and Culture in Early Modern SpainLucrecia's Dreams: Politics and Prophecy in Sixteenth-Century Spain. Richard L. KaganEmigrants and Society: Extremadura and Spanish America in the Sixteenth Century. Ida AltmanThe Avila of Saint Teresa: Religious Reform in a Sixteenth-Century City. Jodi BilinkoffTown and Country in Pre-industrial Spain: Cuenca, 1550-1870. David Sven ReherLiberty in Absolutist Spain: The Habsburg Sale of Towns, 1516-1700. Helen NaderGender and Disorder in Early Modern Seville. Mary Elizabeth PerryFrontiers of Heresy: The Spanish Inquisition from the Basque Lands to Sicily. William MonterInquisition and Society in the Kingdom of Valencia, 1478-1834. Stephen HaliczerSpanish Imperialism and the Political Imagination: Studies in European and American Social and Political Theory, 1513-1830. Anthony PagdenTheatre in Spain, 1490-1700. Melveena McKendrick." Journal of Modern History 65, no. 2 (June 1993): 357–74. http://dx.doi.org/10.1086/244641.

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33

"The Avila of Saint Teresa: religious reform in a sixteenth-century city." Choice Reviews Online 27, no. 11 (July 1, 1990): 27–6483. http://dx.doi.org/10.5860/choice.27-6483.

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34

"The Avila of Saint Teresa: Religious Reform in a Sixteenth-Century City. Jodi BilinkoffTeresa of Avila and the Rhetoric of Femininity. Alison Weber." Journal of Religion 72, no. 1 (January 1992): 106–8. http://dx.doi.org/10.1086/488805.

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35

Babich, Emilija. "Religion and Ecstasy in Seventeenth Century Italy." Inquiry@Queen's Undergraduate Research Conference Proceedings, February 5, 2016. http://dx.doi.org/10.24908/iqurcp.8298.

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In the seventeenth century, the supremacy of the Catholic Church was being threatened both by science and by the growth of Protestantism. Rome, as the only remaining centre for Catholicism, needed to reassert its authority and reclaim those who had lost their faith. As a result, religious artistic production of the seventeenth century took on a spectacular and theatrical character that sought to inspire awe and reverence in its audience. There was a renewed interest in depicting martyred saints, encouraging the laity to look upon them as models of Catholic piety who were willing to give their lives for the faith. However, there was also a growing cult of interest in the mystical aspects of Catholicism. Figures such as Saint Teresa of Avila, who experienced visions and ecstatic unions with Christ, encouraged a renewed interest in Catholicism and promoted a much more personal and private connection with Christ. Thispresentation will investigate the growing interest in and conceptions of martyrdom and religious ecstasy. In particular, it will examine Gianlorenzo Bernini’s sculptures of St. Lawrence, The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa, and the Blessed Ludovica Albertoni, ultimately demonstrating that the two concepts were intimately related and, when depicted with the magnificence and splendour of the Baroque style, were powerful tools of propaganda for the Catholic Church.
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Clouse, Michele. "Review of: Erin Kathleen Rowe, Saint and Nation: Santiago, Teresa of Avila, and Plural Identities in Early Modern Spain." Bulletin for Spanish and Portuguese Historical Studies 37, no. 1 (February 4, 2013). http://dx.doi.org/10.26431/0739-182x.1089.

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37

"Jodi Bilinkoff. The Avila of Saint Teresa: Religious Reform in a Sixteenth-Century City. Ithaca: Cornell University Press. 1989. Pp. xv, 218. $24.95." American Historical Review, December 1991. http://dx.doi.org/10.1086/ahr/96.5.1559.

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38

Reid Boyd, Elizabeth, Madalena Grobbelaar, Eyal Gringart, Alise Bender, and Rose Williams. "Introducing ‘Intimate Civility’: Towards a New Concept for 21st-Century Relationships." M/C Journal 22, no. 1 (March 13, 2019). http://dx.doi.org/10.5204/mcj.1491.

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Fig. 1: Photo by Miguel Orós, from unsplash.comFeminism has stalled at the bedroom door. In the post-#metoo era, more than ever, we need intimate civil rights in our relationships to counter the worrisome prevailing trends: Intimate partner violence. Interpersonal abuse. Date rape. Sexual harassment. Online harassment. Bullying. Rage. Sexual Assault. Abusive relationships. Revenge porn. There’s a lot of damage done when we get up close and personal. In the 21st century, we have come far in terms of equality and respect between the genders, so there’s a lot to celebrate. We also note that the Australian government has stepped in recently with the theme ‘Keeping Australians safe and secure’, by pledging $78 million to combat domestic violence, much of which takes place behind closed doors (Morrison 2019). Herein lies the issue: while governments legislate to protect victims of domestic violence — out of the public eye, private behaviours cannot be closely monitored, and the lack of social enforcement of these laws threatens the safety of intimate relationships. Rather, individuals are left to their own devices. We outline here a guideline for intimate civility, an individually-embraced code of conduct that could guide interpersonal dynamics within the intimate space of relationships. Civility does not traditionally ‘belong’ in our most intimate relationships. Rather, it’s been presumed, even idealised, that intimacy in our personal lives transcends the need for public values to govern relationships between/among men and women (i.e., that romantic love is all you need). Civility developed as a public, gendered concept. Historically, a man’s home – and indeed, his partner – became his dominion, promoting hegemonic constructions of masculinity, and values that reflect competition, conquest, entitlement and ownership. Moreover, intimate relationships located in the private domain can also be considered for/by both men and women a retreat, a bastion against, or excluded from the controls and demands of the public or ‘polis’ - thus from the public requirement for civility, further enabling its breakdown. The feminist political theorist Carole Pateman situated this historical separation as an inheritance of Hegel’s double dilemma: first, a class division between civil society and the state (between the economic man/woman, or private enterprise and public power) and second, a patriarchal division between the private family (and intimate relationships) and civil society/the state. The private location, she argues, is “an association constituted by ties of love, blood … subjection and particularity” rather than the public sphere, “an association of free and equal individuals” (225). In Hegel’s dilemma, personal liberty is a dualism, only constructed in relation to a governed, public (patriarchal) state. Alternately, Carter depicts civility as a shared moral good, where civility arises not only because of concern over consequences, but also demonstrates our intrinsic moral obligation to respect people in general. This approach subsequently challenges our freedom to carry out private, uncivil acts within a truly civil society.Challenges to Gender EthicsHow can we respond to this challenge in gender ethics? Intimate civility is a term coined by Elizabeth Reid Boyd and Abigail Bray. It came out of their discussions proposing “a new poetics of romance” which called for rewritten codes of interpersonal conduct, an “entente cordiale; a cordial truce to end the sex wars”. Reid Boyd and Bray go further:Politeness is personal and political. We reclaim courtesy as applied sexual and social ethics, an interpersonal, intimate ethics, respectful and tolerant of difference. Gender ethics must be addressed, for they have global social and cultural ramifications that we should not underestimate. (xx)As researchers, we started to explore the idea of intimate civility in interpersonal violence, developing an analysis using social construction and attachment theory simultaneously. In defining the term, we soon realised the concept had wider applications that could change how we think about our most intimate relationships – and how we behave in them. Conceptualising intimate civility involves imagining rights and responsibilities within the private sphere, whether or not loving, familial and natural. Intimate civility can operate through an individually embraced code of conduct to guide interpersonal dynamics within the intimate space of relationships.Gringart, Grobbelaar, and Bender explored the concept of intimate civility by investigating women’s perspectives on what may harmonise their intimate relationships. Women’s most basic desires included safety, equality and respect in the bedroom. In other words, intimate civility is an enactment of human-rights, the embodiment of regard for another human being, insofar as it is a form of ensuring physical and mental integrity, life, safety and protection of all beings. Thus, if intimate civility existed as a core facet of each individual’s self-concept, the manifestation of intimate partner violence ideally would not occur. Rage, from an intimate civility perspective, rips through any civil response and generates misconduct towards another. When we hold respect for others as equal moral beings, civility is key to contain conflicts, which prevents the escalation of disagreements into rage. Intimate civility proposes that civility becomes the baseline behaviour that would be reciprocated between two individuals within the private domain of intimate relationships. Following this notion, intimate civility is the foremost casualty in many relationships characterised by intimate partner violence. The current criminalisation of intimate partner violence leaves unexplored the previously privatised property of the relational – including the inheritance of centuries of control of women’s bodies and sexuality – and how far, in this domain, notions of civility might liberate and/or oppress. The feminist philosopher Luce Irigaray argues that these kinds of ‘sexuate rights’ must apply to both men and women and the reality of their needs and desires. Equality, she argued, could not be achieved without a rewriting of the rights and obligations of each sex, qua different, in social rights and obligations (Yan).Synonyms for intimacy include, amongst others, closeness, attachment, togetherness, warmth, mutual affection, familiarity and privacy. Indirectly, sexual relations are also often synonymous with intimate relationships. However, sex is not intimacy, as both sex and intimacy both exist without the other. Bowlby proposed that throughout our lives we are attentive to the responsiveness and the availability of those that we are attached to, and suggested that “intimate attachments to other human beings are the hub around which a person’s life revolves, not only when he is an infant or a toddler, but throughout his adolescence and his years of maturity as well, and on into old age” (442). Although love is not by nature reciprocal, in intimacy we seek reciprocity – to love one another at the same time in a shared form of commitment. Kierkegaard hypothesised that genuine love is witnessed by one continuing to love another after their death as it obviates any doubt that the beloved was loved and was not merely instrumental (Soble).Intimate Civility as a Starting PointCivility includes qualities such as trust, duty, morality, sacrifice, self-restraint, respect, and fairness; a common standard allowing individuals to work, live and associate together. Intimacy encourages caring, loyalty, empathy, honesty, and self-knowledge. Thus, intimate civility should begin with those closest to us; being civil in our most intimate relationships. It advocates the genuine use of terms of endearment, not terms of abuse. We can only develop qualities such as morality and empathy, crucial for intimate relationships, if we have experienced secure, intimate relationships. Individuals reared in homes devoid of intimate civility will be challenged to identify and promote the interest or wellbeing of their intimate counterparts, and have to seek outside help to learn these skills: it is a learnt behaviour, both at an interpersonal and societal level. Individuals whose parents were insensitive to their childhood needs, and were unable to perceive, interpret and respond appropriately to their subtle communications, signals, wishes and mood will be flailing in this interpersonal skill (Holmes and Slade). Similarly, the individual’s inclusion in a civil society will only be achieved if their surrounding environment promotes and values virtues such as compassion, fairness and cooperation. This may be a challenging task. We envisage intimate civility as a starting point. It provides a focus to discuss and explore civil rights, obligations and responsibilities, between and among women and men in their personal relationships. As stated above, intimate civility begins with one's relationship with oneself and the closest relationships in the home, and hopefully reaches outwards to all kinds of relationships, including same sex, transgender, and other roles within non-specific gender assignment. Therefore, exploring the concept of intimate civility has applications in personal therapy, family counselling centres and relationship counselling environments, or schools in sexual education, or in universities promoting student safety. For example, the 2019 “Change the Course” report was recently released to augment Universities Australia’s 2016 campaign that raised awareness on sexual assault on campus. While it is still under development, we envision that intimate civility decalogue outlined here could become a checklist to assist in promoting awareness regarding abuse of power and gender roles. A recent example of cultural reframing of gender and power in intimate relationships is the Australian Government’s 2018 Respect campaign against gender violence. These recent campaigns promote awareness that intimate civility is integrated with a more functional society.These campaigns, as the images demonstrate, aim at quantifying connections between interactions on an intimate scale in individual lives, and their impacts in shaping civil society in the arena of gender violence. They highlight the elasticity of the bonds between intimate life and civil society and our collective responsibility as citizens for reworking both the gendered and personal civility. Fig. 2: Photo by Tyler Nix: Hands Spelling Out LOVE, from unsplash.comThe Decalogue of Intimate Civility Overall, police reports of domestic violence are heavily skewed towards male on female, but this is not always the case. The Australian government recently reported that “1 in 6 Australian women and 1 in 16 men have been subjected, since the age of 15, to physical and/or sexual violence by a current or previous cohabiting partner” (Australian Institutes of Health and Welfare). Rather than reiterating the numbers, we envisage the decalogue (below) as a checklist of concepts designed to discuss and explore rights, obligations and responsibilities, between and among both partners in their intimate relationships. As such, this decalogue forms a basis for conversation. Intimate civility involves a relationship with these ten qualities, with ourselves, and each other.1) Intimate civility is personal and political. Conceptualising intimate civility involves imagining rights and responsibilities within the private sphere. It is not an impingement on individual liberty or privacy but a guarantor of it. Civil society requires us not to defend private infringements of inter-personal respect. Private behaviours are both intimate in their performance and the springboard for social norms. In Geoffrey Rush’s recent defamation case his defence relied not on denying claims he repeatedly touched his fellow actor’s genitalia during their stage performance in a specific scene, despite her requests to him that he stop, but rather on how newspaper reporting of her statements made him out to be a “sexual pervert”, reflecting the complex link between this ‘private’ interaction between two people and its very public exposé (Wells). 2) Intimate civility is an enactment of a civil right, insofar as it is a form of ensuring physical and mental integrity, life, safety and protection. Intimate civility should begin with those closest to us. An example of this ethic at work is the widening scope of criminalisation of intimate partner abuse to include all forms of abusive interactions between people. Stalking and the pre-cursors to physical violence such as controlling behaviours, online bullying or any actions used to instil fear or insecurity in a partner, are accorded legal sanctions. 3) Intimate civility is polite. Politeness is more than manners. It relates to our public codes of conduct, to behaviours and laws befitting every civilian of the ‘polis’. It includes the many acts of politeness that are required behind closed doors and the recognition that this is the place from which public civility emerges. For example, the modern parent may hope that what they sanction as “polite” behaviour between siblings at home might then become generalised by the child into their public habits and later moral expectations as adults. In an ideal society, the micro-politics of family life become the blueprint for moral development for adult expectations about personal conduct in intimate and public life.4) Intimate civility is equitable. It follows Luce Irigaray’s call for ‘sexuate rights’ designed to apply to men and women and the reality of their needs and desires, in a rewriting of the social rights and obligations of each sex (Yan and Irigaray). Intimate civility extends this notion of rights to include all those involved in personal relations. This principle is alive within systemic family therapy which assumes that while not all members of the family system are always able to exert equal impacts or influence, they each in principle are interdependent participants influencing the system as a whole (Dallos and Draper). 5) Intimate civility is dialectical. The separation of intimacy and civility in Western society and thought is itself a dualism that rests upon other dualisms: public/private, constructed/natural, male/female, rational/emotional, civil/criminal, individual/social, victim/oppressor. Romantic love is not a natural state or concept, and does not help us to develop safe governance in the world of intimate relationships. Instead, we envisage intimate civility – and our relationships – as dynamic, dialectical, discursive and interactive, above and beyond dualism. Just as individuals do not assume that consent for sexual activity negotiated in one partnership under a set of particular conditions, is consent to sexual activity in all partnerships in any conditions. So, dialectics of intimate civility raises the expectation that what occurs in interpersonal relationships is worked out incrementally, between people over time and particular to their situation and experiences. 6) Intimate civility is humane. It can be situated in what Julia Kristeva refers to as the new humanism, emerging (and much needed) today. “This new humanism, interaction with others – all the others – socially marginalised, racially discriminated, politically, sexually, biologically or psychically persecuted others” (Kristeva, 2016: 64) is only possible if we immerse ourselves in the imaginary, in the experience of ‘the other’. Intimate civility takes on a global meaning when human rights action groups such as Amnesty International address the concerns of individuals to make a social difference. Such organisations develop globally-based digital platforms for interested individuals to become active about shared social concerns, understanding that the new humanism ethic works within and between individuals and can be harnessed for change.7) Intimate civility is empathic. It invites us to create not-yet-said, not-yet-imagined relationships. The creative space for intimate civility is not bound by gender, race or sexuality – only by our imaginations. “The great instrument of moral good is the imagination,” wrote the poet Shelley in 1840. Moral imagination (Reid Boyd) helps us to create better ways of being. It is a form of empathy that encourages us to be kinder and more loving to ourselves and each other, when we imagine how others might feel. The use of empathic imagination for real world relational benefits is common in traditional therapeutic practices, such as mindfulness, that encourages those struggling with self compassion to imagine the presence of a kind friend or ally to support them at times of hardship. 8) Intimate civility is respectful. Intimate civility is the foremost casualty in many relationships characterised by forms of abuse and intimate partner violence. “Respect”, wrote Simone Weil, “is due to the human being as such, and is not a matter of degree” (171). In the intimate civility ethic this quality of respect accorded as a right of beings is mutual, including ourselves with the other. When respect is eroded, much is lost. Respect arises from empathy through attuned listening. The RESPECT! Campaign originating from the Futures without Violence organisation assumes healthy relationships begin with listening between people. They promote the understanding that the core foundation of human wellbeing is relational, requiring inter-personal understanding and respect.9) Intimate civility is a form of highest regard. When we regard another we truly see them. To hold someone in high regard is to esteem them, to hold them above others, not putting them on a pedestal, or insisting they are superior, but to value them for who they are. To be esteemed for our interior, for our character, rather than what we display or what we own. It connects with the humanistic psychological concept of unconditional positive regard. The highest regard holds each other in arms and in mind. It is to see/look at, to have consideration for, and to pay attention to, recently epitomised by the campaign against human trafficking, “Can You See Me?” (Human Trafficking), whose purpose is to foster public awareness of the non-verbal signs and signals between individuals that indicate human trafficking may be taking place. In essence, teaching communal awareness towards the victimisation of individuals. 10) Intimate civility is intergenerational. We can only develop qualities such as morality and empathy, crucial for intimate relationships, if we have experienced (or imagined) intimate relationships where these qualities exist. Individuals reared in homes devoid of intimate civility could be challenged to identify and promote the interest or wellbeing of their intimate counterparts; it is a learnt behaviour, both at an interpersonal and societal level. Childhood developmental trauma research (Spinazzola and Ford) reminds us that the interaction of experiences, relational interactions, contexts and even our genetic amkeup makes individuals both vulnerable to repeating the behaviour of past generations. However, treatment of the condition and surrounding individuals with people in their intimate world who have different life experiences and personal histories, i.e., those who have acquired respectful relationship habits, can have a positive impact on the individuals’ capacity to change their learned negative behaviours. In conclusion, the work on intimate civility as a potential concept to alleviate rage in human relationships has hardly begun. The decalogue provides a checklist that indicates the necessity of ‘intersectionality’ — where the concepts of intimate civility connect to many points within the public/private and personal/political domains. Any analysis of intimacy must reach further than prepositions tied to social construction and attachment theory (Fonagy), to include current understandings of trauma and inter-generational violence and the way these influence people’s ability to act in healthy and balanced interpersonal relationships. While not condoning violent acts, locating the challenges to intimate civility on both personal and societal levels may leverage a compassionate view of those caught up in interpersonal violence. The human condition demands that we continue the struggle to meet the challenges of intimate civility in our personal actions with others as well as the need to replicate civil behaviour throughout all societies. ReferencesBowlby, John. Attachment and Loss. Vol. 3. New York: Basic Books, 1980.Carter, Stephen. Civility: Manners, Morals and the Etiquette of Democracy. New York: Basic Books, 1998.Dallos, Rudi, and Ros Draper. An Introduction to Family Therapy: Systemic Theory and Practice. 2nd ed. Open University Press: Berkshire, 2005.Australian Institutes of Health and Welfare, Australian Government. Family, Domestic and Sexual Violence in Australia. 2018. 6 Feb. 2019 <https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/domestic-violence/family-domestic-sexual-violence-in-australia-2018/contents/summary>. Fonagy, Peter. Attachment Theory and Psychoanalysis. New York: Other Press, 2001.Gringart, Eyal, Madalena Grobbelaar, and Alise Bender. Intimate Civility: The Perceptions and Experiences of Women on Harmonising Intimate Relationships. Honours thesis, 2018.Holmes, Jeremy, and Arietta Slade. Attachment in Therapeutic Practice. Los Angeles: Sage, 2018. Human Trafficking, Jan. 2019. 14 Feb. 2019 <https://www.a21.org/content/can-you-see-me/gnsqqg?permcode=gnsqqg&site=true>.Kristeva, Julia. Teresa My Love: An Imagined Life of the Saint of Avila. New York: Columbia UP, 2016.Morrison, Scott. “National Press Club Address.” 11 Feb. 2019. 26 Feb. 2019 <https://www.pm.gov.au/media/national-press-club-address-our-plan-keeping-australians-safe-and-secure>.Pateman, Carole. “The Patriarchal Welfare State.” Defining Women: Social Institutions and Gender Divisions. Eds. Linda McDowell and Rosemary Pringle. London: Polity Press, 1994. 223-45.Reid Boyd, Elizabeth. “How Creativity Can Help Us Cultivate Moral Imagination.” The Conversation, 30 Jan. 2019. 11 Feb. 2019 <http://theconversation.com/how-creativity-can-help-us-cultivate-moral-imagination-101968>.Reid Boyd, Elizabeth, and Abigail Bray. Ladies and Gentlemen: Sex, Love and 21st Century Courtesy. Unpublished book proposal, 2005.Commonwealth of Australia. Respect Campaign. 2018, 9 Jan. 2019 <http://www.respect.gov.au/the-campaign/campaign-materials/>.Shelley, Percy Bysshe. A Defence of Poetry. London: Ginn and Company, 1840.Soble, Alan. Philosophy of Sex and Love. St Paul, MN: Paragon House, 1998.Weil, Simone. Waiting on God. London: Fontana Collins, 1968.Wells, Jamelle. “Geoffrey Rush, Erin Norvill and the Daily Telegraph: The Stakes Are High in This Defamation Trial.” ABC News 12 Nov. 2018. 23 Feb. 2019 <http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-11-10/geoffrey-rush-defamation-trial-a-drama-with-final-act-to-come/10483944>.Yan, Liu, and Luce Irigaray. “Feminism, Sexuate Rights and the Ethics of Sexual Difference: An Interview with Luce Irigaray.” Foreign Literature Studies (2010): 1-9.
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